I've been meaning to write for such a long time. For many reasons, this second go-round is alot more difficult than the last time we went through this. I have quite a few inspirational messages that I have started but never quite got around to
finishing. My days are spent running between doctors, healers and hospitals. I'm plagued by a feeling of exhaustion that I just can't shake. And the pressure of searching for a marrow match with time running out is starting to take it's toll. Still, I am finding time to seek joy in the everyday. There are moments of beauty that bring comfort and solace. And I am so thankful for every sunrise.
Since last week, I've completed two rounds of chemo. The infection that hospitalized me last March is no longer a threat. As most of you know, today (Wednesday) a few friends plan to get together for a 'healing' with me at Rory's house. On Thursday I will be getting CT and PET scans done. The results of the scans will be critical. The results will determine my prognosis as well as the next two months of my life. I may continue with this chemo. I may need to switch to a different treatment option. Or I may have to dive into a marrow transplant with my only transplant option: a partial-match with high risks.
Of course, I'm praying for better news.
This Friday will be the Bone Marrow Transplant Reunion at City of Hope. They expect over 10,000 transplant survivors and their families to attend. I plan to be there to celebrate life and support patients who are new survivors. Life can be sudden and unexpected. Change is inevitable and sometimes drastic. And sometimes it seems you end up back where you started from. We're here on this earth for only so long. I hope that each one of you is taking advantage of each day. I hope that every moment is infused with meaning. That you seek the soul in every person you meet. That every word you speak brings only good. And that every action you take comes from love.
Thursday scans. Cross your fingers…