And What Followed...

Thursday, October 19, 2006


(Warning: Still under medically-enhanced mental crush. Apologize for any loopy-ness that follows.)

This has been quite the ride.
I feel like I am the lithium in my bi-polar life.
To mis-quote Jessica Rabbit:
"I'm not bi-polar, my life is just drawn that way."
Up. Down. Life. Death. Love. Disappointment. Bitter. Sweet.
Victory. Defeat. And Victory again.

C'est la vie.

I'm just looking forward to raising that glass of wine in San Gimignano, Italy.

Though I am joyously overwhelmed with the amazing "you're cancer-free" news from Monday, my body is still clearing the debris from last week and preparing for the bone-marrow biopsy procedure on Tuesday. It's like doing back-to-back triathlons whilst completely inebriated.

I just can't get over how bone-tired and worn out I am. This is sooooooo not me. It takes work to sit up again. I'm scuffling around like Grandma Moses. I can't even write. I think the nuclear powered medications they gave me last week fogged up my head and short-circuited some synapses. But I think I'm getting better. The swelling has gone down considerably. My blood counts are slowly climbing back up again. Whew!

A doctor said it well when I confronted her about the fact that we still DON'T KNOW what it was or what is happening:

"Well, would you rather we NOT know what it is, try to do something about it and it go away, or that we identify exactly what it is and not be able to do anything about it?"

Well put.

I'm starting to fade out…. Need more sleep. Thank you for the continued messages and prayers. They're definitely working. I love you guys.


P.S. I like this quote and wanted to make clear that it has nothing to do with the ride request. I read it as " Do the good that you can and do not fear."

- - - - -

I am only one,
But still I am one.
I cannot do everything,
But still I can do something;
And because I cannot do everything
I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.

-Edward Everett Hale

No comments: