SaveChristine.com

Pepperdine University - Relay for Life!

2010-03-31T16:09:00.000-07:00

Please excuse this selfless self promotion but it's all for a very good cause.

As most of you know all too well, I'm very lucky to be alive having survived cancer along with two very risky bone marrow transplants. Now that I have regained my life and my health, part of my mission is to help others who are newly diagnosed and struggling to survive. I feel very fortunate to be in a place where I can give back.

On Friday April 16, Pepperdine University will hold its Second Annual Relay for Life. I'm assembling my team this week and have until Friday to sign up at least 10 team members! It only costs $5 to register and though there is a "recommended" goal to raise $100 when you join the team, there is no pressure from me to raise any more than what you can or want to, but if you feel moved, go for the gold! Remember YOU are fighting cancer!

Relay for Life truly is an inspiring experience. And it's TONS of fun! For my older peeps, re-live your college days ala HotTub Time Machine! Plus, I may be speaking at the event, and will be honored as a survivor during the first lap!

If you feel weird about joining the team, then by all means make that known by making a donation or purchasing a luminaria in honor or in remembrance of a loved one.

Even if you cannot physically attend the event, it'd be nice to know who can support the team and be there in spirit...

Five dollars here and ten dollars there can add up to a whole lotta good. Sort of like in the way the tab adds up at Costco...

Everything can be accessed HERE.

I know we are all VERY busy and overwhelmed with our own lives, but please consider giving just an eensy-weensy piece of your time, even if it's just taking a few seconds to donate a few dollars online, to help another someone who has greater challenges than those of us lucky enough to have our health...

Thanks for indulging me...

Blessings,
Christine

p.s. Please feel free pass this on...

Pepperdine MFA Screenwriting

2009-10-07T15:50:00.000-07:00

Often when one overcomes cancer, one closely examines their life, and life in general. After examining mine, this is how I plan to move forward:

Three years ago, there were nights where I wasn't sure if I would make it to the next day. Today, thanks to my doctors, and the prayers of family and friends, I look forward to my future.

There is always hope.

love,
Christine

2009-09-11T23:13:00.000-07:00

I am THRILLED to announce that I've been selected as one of this year's Perpetual Scholarship recipients by "CANCER FOR COLLEGE." Yay! :)

I will be speaking at this year's annual fundraiser event next Friday, September 18. Will Ferrell will present the awards. It's a great honor.
Please come and share this very special night and support a great cause!

Information can be found at the website here:
http://www.cancerforcollege.org

For those who would like to come but are on a tight budget, I can get a 50% "friends & family discount".

If you cannot attend, please show your support by purchasing some Will Ferrell sunscreen off the website! It's hilarious!

Sorry to keep this so short but I've got a lot of schoolwork to catch up on! Aaah!

Blessings and Hugs,
Christine

Remember Michelle

2009-07-30T16:21:00.000-07:00

I am very sad to relay the news that Michelle Maykin passed away last week. She was an incredible girl and an enormous inspiration for so many. Despite her struggle, she truly remained positive and and loved life til the very end.

Please remember her and her beautiful spirit by signing up on the marrow registry. And today, try to hug, forgive or love someone just a little bit more than you usually would... for Michelle.

With sadness and love,
Christine

-----

This message from Glenn Agustin from A3M:
It is with deep sadness that I'm telling you about Michelle Maykin's passing last Friday. Diagnosed in February 2007, Michelle and the efforts of Project Michelle has since registered close to 20,000 people! Their novel efforts of outreaching via various forms of media awarded Project Michelle the NMDP's Excellence in New Media Award in 2008. Michelle's positive spirit and superhuman strength has touched and will continue to inspire the lives of patients, the NMDP staff, and strangers all over the world. Please keep Michelle and her family and friends in your thoughts and intentions.

Stacie Tamaki

2009-07-10T10:51:00.000-07:00

I'm reposting this from Stacie Tamaki's entry on Tami's Blog. I was so moved by what she wrote, that I wanted to share. Please keep spreading the word.

Love,
Christine

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Graham is Gone and Michelle's Prognosis: 4-6 Weeks

I share the news of Graham and Michelle with you not to make you sad, but to make you mad. Mad that neither were ever able to find a marrow match. Mad because Leukemia is a treatable disease and yet people die from it each day simply because there aren't enough people who have joined the National Marrow Registry, not just here in the U.S. but in Asia and Worldwide. Please don't forget people like Graham and Michelle... People who have suffered through so much illness, pain and recovery only to finally be told that there is no hope for them.

Graham Barnell and His Family May 2009

For the second time this week I spent the wee hours of the morning in tears. Several nights ago I learned that Graham Barnell, husband, father and Leukemia patient, had passed away. I met Graham through his Facebook Group after he first joined Tami's FB Group. I was one of many of his online friends who received a message at 2:49 a.m. on July 2nd breaking the sad news that he had "Passed away peacefully, surrounded by family and friends."

And early this morning I read Michelle Maykin's blog only to learn that she is almost out of time.

Last Monday she posted a post titled: How do you know when to stop fighting? Due to Tami's transplant taking place on Tuesday I hadn't made the time to check on Michelle the way I normally do so I was stunned. I literally felt my heart sink as my body began to tremble right before the tears came as I read that even with one medicine that is safe for her to take to slow her cancer, last week her doctor estimated that she has 4-6 weeks left.

Except for her loss of hair, she doesn't even look sick.

Western medicine has nothing left to offer Michelle when it comes to a cure. Her Leukemia has proven to be chemo resistant and no marrow match has been located. There are no treatments left whose benefits and possible effectiveness outweigh the terrible and possibly fatal side effects they may create. Both she and her husband Van were crushed. But despite being completely aware of the odds, Michelle is still not giving up. She is turning to Eastern remedies: herbal medicine, practicing Qi/Chi Gong, and sticking to certain dietary restrictions as her "last fight."

If Eastern medicine can result in major improvement or another remission and a marrow match is found NOW Michelle could still have a chance at not 4 to 6 weeks of life but 4 to 6 DECADES! She is only 27 years old :(

I love this picture of Michelle and Marshawn

Both Michelle and Graham participated in a clinical trial receiving double cord blood transplants at the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center using the stem cells found in infant's umbilical cords. Cords used to be disposed of after a delivery but now we know that there are many reasons to save this stem cell rich blood source. Michelle's remission was about 5 months before she relapsed this spring. Graham suffered through and survived the most severe type of Graft vs. Host Disease and was then stricken with a terrible and persistent fungal infection only to succumb to a chest infection.

If either had found a 10/10 adult stem cell match their odds would have been better. A cord blood transplant is not an ideal match. But when no adult match has been found and the patient is out of time, it buys them some time. Imagine if during Michelle's remission a match had been located and she was able to receive a transplant by now.

Just last month Michelle's friends threw her a cancer "intervention" inspired by a particular episode of the TV Show How I Met Your Mother.

I post this because even though Tami received her 10/10 marrow match and transplant I feel the need to remind everyone that most patients do not. Most patients lose their battle when their 27 or 39 or 44. Many leave behind young children and husbands and wives, grieving parents and heart broken friends.

Statistically the odds are that only 30% of patients in need will find a marrow match and receive a life saving transplant. That means 70% of people won't find one and will die.

But that's something we can all help to change. Please continue to spread the word about all you've seen Tami go through and all you've learned here on her blog and website. Please tell people about Tami's website so they can learn more too. Please don't step back now that Tami's need has been met. We really need everyone to help us spread the word so that others who still have some time left, others like Michelle who need and deserve a miracle, can be saved.

If you want to send Michelle a message of support you can do so on her BLOG by leaving a comment on one of her posts.

Posted by Stacie (Tami's cousin)

The Malibu Times

2009-04-16T10:10:00.000-07:00

Earlier this week, Bridget Graham of the Malibu Times interviewed me for an article to help promote the marrow drives on the Pepperdine Campus this weekend. The drives are in honor of Robert Corrales, a beloved Alumnus who is fighting Leukemia and in need of a marrow match.

I picked up the paper last night and to my surprise, the article was the Featured Story of the "MALIBU LIFE" section! The wonderful news, really, is that I hope that the article brings more people to the marrow drives, thus more potential donors onto the registry! Here is the online version of the article if you would like more information on this weekend's marrow drives.

Yesterday, we held the first drive of this week during the game versus USC. Having gone to USC as an undergrad, I found myself torn between two loyalties, but in the end the game was about good sportsmanship and good baseball. Both SC and Pepperdine folks were signing up. When it comes to saving lives, teamwork knows no boundaries.

Before the game, I had the honor to speak in front of the stadium crowd. Despite an amusing start with a faulty mic, I was thrilled to be on the field. It is somewhat surreal to hear your voice echoing in the sky, with the Pacific churning in the background behind you, talking about how you almost died, if not for one hero.

Here are some of the volunteers and organizers of the marrow drives at Pepperdine. (From L to R) Tiara Dole, Toni Nocita, Brian Watson, Heather Collart, and Janet Slightam. And thanks also to Andre Fontenelle, cameraman extraordinaire, who came to document the event!

By the way, Pepperdine won 8-5 thanks to a rally in the eigth-inning that took off with a homer by Nate Johnson.

Pepperdine University, Malibu Campus Marrow Drives:
Friday, April 17 - 2pm to 5pm at the Eddy D. Field Baseball Stadium
Saturday, April 18 - 12pm to 3pm at the Eddy D. Field Baseball Stadium

Hope to see you there!
xxo

Pepperdine

2009-04-07T22:58:00.001-07:00

Pepperdine University will host marrow drives April 15th, 17th and 18th, in an effort to find a donor match for beloved alumnus Robert Corrales. This PSA was created in an effort to promote the drives on campus. It's my story, but I hope someday Robert will be able to share the same miracle with our community. Please help us spread the word!

A Grateful Bridesmaid

2009-02-16T16:23:00.000-08:00

A little over two years and a half years ago, when I was in the hospital and the future was still uncertain, my friend Beth turned to me and said "You can't die now because someday you have to be a bridesmaid in my wedding!" Beth, at that time, was not engaged to anyone. I, at that time, had less than a 10% chance of getting out of the hospital alive.
Last year, Beth did indeed get engaged to a wonderful guy named David. And at the same time, I got the "all clear" in my scans.

Last weekend, my friend BJ and I drove up to northern California for the wedding. The celebration took place in Tiburon, just north of San Francisco.

BJ, Beth and I go all the way back to college and have many fun memories working together at Roger Corman's Concorde Pictures. Beth has the unique talent of being beautiful, witty, sophisticated yet blunt at the same time. She was the friend I turned to when I needed "tough love."
The secret miracle Beth and I shared was that I was alive to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. No small feat.

Tom, Beth's brother and groomsman, was my escort. Sabrina and her Dad, Mike, were also there. Small world. If you recall, Sabrina was my mentee in the Young Storytellers program!

It was a lovely evening at the yacht club and I felt so thankful to be there for Beth and to celebrate her new life with this incredible guy she had found.

Life is unpredictable but wishes do come true.

Angels of Hope 2008

2008-10-12T11:20:00.000-07:00

Last night I had the pleasure of rejoining my friends at Angels of Hope to raise funds for City of Hope. The last two years I had the honor of being the main speaker at their annual dinner. This year, I got a break and came as a special guest. Tim Scully (left) is also a marrow transplant survivor and remains a staunch advocate for cancer patients.

Angels of Hope is based out of Rancho Palos Verdes and many of its generous members have contributed tremendously to City of Hope's research and treatment in the fight against cancer.

My friend Andy and I got a chance to experience some close-up magic during the silent auction before sitting down to a fine dinner of salmon and filet mignon. Despite the state of the economy, the members were as giving as ever at this year's fundraiser.

It is groups like Angels of Hope that make a profound difference in the world. Contributions to non-profits such as City of Hope benefit not just doctors and researchers but directly effect patients and their families. Angels of Hope proves that a very small group of dedicated people can make a profound difference in countless lives.

It felt good to return healthy to a place where, just two years before I was very sick, bald and uncertain of the future.

We need to remind ourselves each day as we get older, that we are lucky enough to "get older."

Camp Keepsake

2008-09-28T23:56:00.000-07:00

Camp Keepsake Promo Video

I just returned from a weekend of volunteering at Camp Keepsake. I've attended this wonderful camp as a patient and guest in the past. This year I returned as a host (like a camp counselor) to welcome the new campers!

It was a thrill to return healthy and to return to give back to an organization led by a group of the most passionate and authentic people I have met in my cancer journey. Camp Keepsake has done so much for me and my family and friends. I've seen the camp give hope and transform patients into a family of warriors for love and life. I know it may sound a bit overwrought but I guess you have to experience for yourself the beauty and inspiration this single weekend of camp does for so many.

I was lucky to be paired with a wonderful family group and made quick friends with Sophie and little Lauren. Both their mothers were dealing with health issues so it was a true gift to be able to give these little girls a chance to be little girls; to give them a break from the difficulties and suffering that illness can burden upon a family. Camp Keepsake is the one weekend when families can be "normal"and enjoy life and each other without worrying about chemo, needles and doctor appointments.

Thanks to Chris, Karie, Thomas, Melissa, Kristi, Carmine, Mara, Juli, Jason, Mark, Ryan, Oscar, Rose, Louie, Alon, Kevin, Joe, Dale, Drew, Gary, Emily, and everyone involved with camp. Here is another way that we take tragedy and turn it into something beautiful.

I can't wait to volunteer again next year!

christine

NAI - USC Marrow Drive

2008-09-20T14:12:00.000-07:00

My undergrad Alma Mater is the University of Southern California. One week ago, thanks to my dear friends Tim & Margaret, I was 23 rows from the field at the awesome Ohio State rout. (USC 35, OSU 3). Today, it felt great to return to campus and show my Trojan Pride in a completely different way

The Neighborhood Academic Initiative is a University program designed to help get disadvantaged youth on track towards a college degree. Most of the teens in the program would otherwise not have a chance at a college education. A full-scholarship at USC awaits those who successfully complete the program and pass the application process. I had the pleasure of meeting a "graduate"of the program who is now attaining her Master's degree at USC.

I gave a talk at an intimate auditorium on campus in an effort to sign more donors onto the registry. Jerome Williams was also there to speak and the marrow drive was done in his name. Sadly, Jerome has not found a match yet and a number of the African-Americans in the audience voiced their desire to be his donor.

A majority of the attendees were Latino, which was wonderful because it is not often that I get a chance to reach out to the Hispanic community. There were many parents present who did not speak English, so my words had to be translated by an interpreter. There was still hope for Jerome, as he has some Latino blood in him.

A great discussion ensued after the talk and we dispelled many of the myths of donating marrow while talking about love, community and the miracle of saving a life . In the end, we signed up over 60 new donors. I just know that there will be matches for other patients to be found in that special group. :)

Thanks to Vivian, Maria, Monica and Michelle for a successful drive!

FIGHT ON!

Christine

WHY?!

2008-09-05T18:17:00.000-07:00

I'm devastated to report that my sister's cancer has relapsed. As most of you know, my brother and I also fought Lymphoma.

When will this end?

Please pray for her health.
And for the strength of her husband, Tony.

Christine

ADDENDUM: September 12, 2008 :

It appears that my sister wants her story to remain private at this time. In respect for my sister's wishes, this blog will remain focused on the life-affirming events and people in my healing journey.

Adrian "Baldy" Sudbury passes away

2008-09-01T22:14:00.000-07:00

Across oceans and continents, the plight and the courage of Bone Marrow Transplant patients continues. In the UK, a young man who lived his last days dedicated to educating the public and finding other patients a marrow match has passed away. His story was not as known here in the States but his spirit and legacy has changed lives and will likely save the lives of future patients around the world.

Adrian "Baldy" Sudbury's blog chronicles his story.

Here are a few excerpts:

"I can’t beat this leukaemia but I can make a difference, I’m making the most of every breath I have left, I am spending time with some of the most wonderful friends and family anyone could ask to share their lives with; but more importantly I’m going down in style."

"I've led a decent life, seen a lot of the world and been in a job I've enjoyed. As for dying - how can anyone be scared of something that is going to happen to every single one of us?"

"One of the saddest aspects for me is that I hoped Baldy's Blog would shine out as a beacon in the too often tragic world of blood cancers. I honestly thought I had conquered the leukaemia, that I could manage the GvHD, get married and have children. I really wanted that to be the end of this story and show that people can overcome this disease."

"I have one last little mission before I die. I'm determined to try and educate more people about what it is like to be a bone marrow donor. There are still 7,000 people - children and adults in the UK alone - who are waiting to find a match. Without your help they have no hope. At least I was given a chance. The problem is people think it is some horrific procedure and I want to show as many people as possible that it is not like that. Apparently, the Germans have one of the world's best marrow registers. All they do is educate their sixth form students about why it's important to donate blood, bone marrow and how you do it. Why can't we do that here?"

"At this stage I decided the source of the anxiety was a number of factors. Of course the obvious one about a drawn-out death still worries the hell out of me. I explained in the previous post how my friends stepped in. It doesn't sound very cool to have a timetable but we did and it worked really well. Over three days I saw around 32 people. I was so proud of myself because now everyone has had the opportunity to say goodbye properly. I feel like I have said everything too and if I died tomorrow, it would be sad, but there would be no regrets."

Click here to read Adrian "Baldy" Sudbury's blog.

“What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others.” - Pericles (495-429 B.C.)

BONFIRE with mAssKickers & i[2]y

2008-08-21T17:51:00.000-07:00

This Saturday, August 23, I will help to host the First Annual "Stupid Cancer" Bonfire in Huntington Beach. This bonfire will bring together the first inaugural group of young adult cancer survivors to celebrate another year of being young and still alive.

All are welcome whose lives have been affected by cancer. We plan on roasting marshmallows and sounding our barbaric yawps across the rooftops of the world.

**********

ADDENDUM - Sept 1, 2008

We had a blast at the bonfire with attendees coming from San Diego,the OC, LA and the SanFernando Valley. Here are a couple photos. Hope you can join us at the next one!

In the NEWS this week!

2008-08-13T01:16:00.000-07:00

The surgery went smoothly last Friday and I've been at home recovering
nicely. Went off the powerful pain meds this morning after last
night's hallucinations proved to be TOO creepy for me to handle!

This Thursday, August 14, my story will be on KCBS/KCAl as part of a
larger story for City of Hope and ThinkCure. The segment is scheduled
to air during the newscasts on CBS during the 6A and 5P shows. It
also airs on KCAL during the Noon, 4P, 8P, 10P.

This Saturday somewhere in the 2 o'clock hour (to be confirmed), I
will be on KABC radio as part of a ThinkCure telethon to raise money to fight cancer.

For those who have been patiently waiting (thank you!) I finally set up a separate "college fund" account. I wanted to name it "Christine's College Fund" but for various reasons the checks still have to be made out to my name. "College Fund" should be written in the memo area. After so much uncertainty, I can't describe how wonderful it feels to be making goals for the future. I never realized what a luxury that was before. Thanks again to those who have sent gifts of support! Classes start in two weeks!

:)

much love,
Christine

Christine's College Fund
10008 National Blvd. #174
Los Angeles, CA 90034

Story of my life...

2008-08-06T06:55:00.000-07:00

Even with the upcoming surgery, there is still time to squeeze in and make a difference.

I have an TV interview with CBS this Thursday, the day before surgery, as part of a larger story they are doing about cancer-awareness.

As soon as I am somewhat recovered, the following weekend I will be on KABC radio for a live interview.

And this week, the Aug/Sept issue of Audrey magazine features a story about my cancer journey, written by Jennifer Chen.

I was at City of Hope yesterday for Pre-Op tests and the usual rigamarole. Things are a go. It's hard to believe that I still have to ask for help this far out from treatment. I got sort of depressed about it at first but then realized how lucky I was to have friends who were still there for me.

With love,
Christine

Emergency Surgery?!

2008-08-05T04:41:00.000-07:00

I went in for a routine appointment last Friday and next thing you
know, I'm scheduled to have surgery.

I will go in for the procedure this Friday, August 8. It is not
anything life threatening. We are just taking care of a small problem
brought on by the Graft vs. Host before it gets any worse. The surgery
will put me in bed for a week, strung out on painkillers. Yeah, it
stinks but it's a small price to pay for the privilege of still being
alive.

This comes at the worst time as I'm prepping for Pepperdine and still
searching for scholarship options. A few of you have asked for an
address to send checks to help. I plan to set up a separate "college
fund" account this week. Thanks so much and I will keep everyone updated.

love,
Christine

Good News and Bad News

2008-07-24T19:12:00.000-07:00

I was at City of Hope today for the official, rare, wondrous moment that all BMT patients pray and hope for: The two-year follow-up appointment. It’s an odd thing to look forward to… a hospital appointment with a doctor... But for someone who is told they would likely NOT see that day, it is a day welcomed indeed.

It took over two years but my blood counts are FINALLY totally normal! Yes, even those stubborn Red Blood Cells are back to regular levels. I’m not anemic anymore. My body can fight a cold. I don’t have to worry about bleeding to death. My brain is getting a decent supply of oxygen. No more excuses. Yay!

In the midst of our mini-celebration, I shared with Dr. Nade about how I have watched too many friends succumb to their disease - Friends who once stood with me, side-by-side. Sometimes it felt like these friends and I were on the battlefield together, holding our ground united. But soon the bullets began to hail and one-by-one they started to fall and all I could do was to keep holding my ground and not give in or give up, lest they die in vain. I thanked Dr. Nade for saving my life. She was the wizard behind the BMT. She was the bulletproof vest that pulled me through. We both teared up and hugged. Then, feeling a need to escape from the emotional vise, we just as quickly broke away and made hasty exits. Funny how we humans can be about emotions.

Well, at this point you’re probably wondering, “What’s the good news and the bad news?” Well…

I am THRILLED to announce that I have been accepted into the Graduate MFA Writing program at Pepperdine University! The program’s focus will be Writing for Screen & TV. Not many of you know that back in 2002, I had been stashing money away and was in the midst of applying to graduate schools when cancer took that all away. Now my dream of attaining a Masters Degree is finally in reach after being put on hold for the six years of my cancer struggle.

The bad news? I applied to Pepperdine enticed by the fact that the department said they would probably be able to give me a full-scholarship. Unfortunately, according to the head of the department, the monies they thought they would be allocating did not come to fruition. So instead, I have a scholarship that will only cover 10% of my tuition and a TA’ship that will cover daily expenses. I’ve already applied to a few outside scholarships and I’m planning to work all weekend to find other sources.

So I’m asking for help. I know we are all busy, but if anyone has any ideas or knows of any resources / foundations / funds / organizations or angels who may be poised to help, please let me know. After coming this far, I don’t want to give up.

Much love,
Christine

A word from Larry David

2008-07-02T20:12:00.000-07:00

Two Years. This is for Kristina

2008-06-28T16:24:00.000-07:00

Today marks the two-year Anniversary of the day I was admitted to the hospital for my second marrow transplant. I remember entering those doors thinking, "Everyone walks in, but many do not walk out." I know it sounds morbid but as the doors closed behind me, shutting off the sounds, scents and vibrancy of the outside world, my second thought was "In the next few weeks/months, I'm either going to walk through these same doors or be quietly wheeled out the back."

For over a year, I was on a bland diet, unable to eat salads, fruits or outside food because of my condition. I was isolated in a bubble to protect my fragile immune system. I did not have the strength to raise my arms above my head. There were times when we thought I wouldn't make it through the night. My muscles atrophied, the life foundation I had just laid disintegrated, and my life plans evaporated. All that was left was the fight, my family and friends, and God’s will.

In this anniversary two-years later, I am now allowed to do a lot more. I am allowed to work out. I am allowed to travel overseas. I can start making long-term plans. I am allowed to live again.

Today, I shared ice cream and fresh berries with a dear friend. I felt the sun on my face and shared a laugh with a stranger. I punched and kicked in my first Krav Maga class. I told my Mom and Dad that I loved them. Tonight a few friends are taking me out to celebrate with fine food and wine. We will raise our glasses to the blessed lives that we still have to live.

Cancer has taken away too many friends over the last 24 months. All much too soon. All much too young. All beautiful souls who had so much to live for. I am one of the lucky ones. And everyday I live my life in remembrance of them. Everyday Elizabeth, Robin, Joel, Harrison, Cindy, Robert, Joe, Rachel (and many more) remind me that one does not seek one’s purpose in life, one chooses it. You do not need to search for love because it is already inside of you but in order to find it, you need to let it out. And though we may not have control over the end date of our lives, we do have control on how we choose to live beforehand and what legacies we leave behind.

When my cancer relapsed 30 months ago, my sister’s friend Kristina chose to step forward and make a difference. She had never met me but she knew she was blessed to be healthy and strong enough to help another. She rallied everyone to help my sister Jocelyn and made phone calls, organized marrow drives and gave everything she had. I know for certain that because of her efforts, many lives will be saved.

We finally met face to face this last December amongst tears and joy. She beamed “I am so happy it all worked out!” And all I could muster through the flood of emotions was “Thank you so much for all you did”. Kristina’s two children played around her legs as her husband smiled lovingly at his beautiful family.

But less than six weeks ago Kristina was admitted to the hospital for severe headaches. Two weeks later, she was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer – Cholangio carcinoma . She went blind and lost the ability to hear. 17 terrible days later, she was gone. Kristina was only 37 years old.

Life is precious, yes, but it can also be ruthless.

Today, as I marked the two-year anniversary of my second life-saving marrow transplant, my sister Jocelyn attended Kristina’s funeral. My sister called from Atlanta to tell me that my poem “A Much Lived Life” was printed on the back of the program.

We do not have total control over what happens to us or to the people we love, but we do have control over how we respond to it. We can either feel sorry for ourselves or strive to fight alongside others who are enduring the same trials. We can get angry at the world or love while we still can. We can wallow in grief or we can honor our loved ones by living a fully realized life in their honor.

My sister and her friends created a quilt of love representing the giant hug that all Kristina's friends and family were constantly holding her in. They arrived just minutes too late to wrap her in it before she left us, but the quilt was there to see her on her way.

Kristina was a rare beauty in her smile, her heart, her spirit and her soul. Let her life be an inspiration for us to live a life of generosity and unconditional love.

Remember,
Christine

p.s. If you are interested in donating to a fund to cover the financial hardship incurred by Kristina’s family, please contact me at saffronbutterfly@yahoo.com.

The Big C - A Much Lived Life

2008-06-19T10:13:00.000-07:00

I had the pleasure of performing my poems in three separate presentations at this year's installment of "The Big C" at Hollywood Presbyterian's National Cancer Survivor Day celebration on Saturday, June 14th. Thank you to Christian Meoli for putting together an incredible show and to Christina Lindhart, my talented and beautiful director. Also congratulations to all the survivors and performers for sharing their stories of strength, humor and healing.

Backstage after the show with fellow writer friends James, Julie and Alex.

Since the performance I have had many requests for the poem that was performed by the entire cast during the grand finale. Here is the performance version of "A Much Lived Life"

- - - - -

A Much Lived Life

If you were told you had less than 10 years to live, what would you do?
Would you mourn the loss of the Life you thought you could have had,
Or would you finally live the Life you’ve always dreamed of?

If you were told you had less than five years to live,
Would you spend your days in grief and anger,
Or would you live 50 years worth of Life in five?

If you were told you had less than a year to live,
Would you isolate and be consumed with the sorrow of your impending death,
Or would you reach out, make a difference while you still can,
take advantage of every sunrise,
making every moment, every word, every touch and every relationship
meaningful, pure, Loving and fully alive?

If you were told you only had one month left to live,
Would you curse, weep and lament your fate,
Or would you spend those last precious days
sharing Love with your family & friends,
remembering and laughing at the memories of your crazy beautiful luscious Life,
thus creating new memories for your loved ones to cherish
and carry on in their hearts?

If you were told you only had one day left to live,
Would you look back at your Life with regret,
Or would you look back with Peace?

The truth is, each one of us will die someday.
And whether that day comes tomorrow or in 50 years,
The question is:
What will you do with the time you have left?
It is not too late.

For what truly matters is not how long you live,
but how much.
And the greatest moments in Life
are the little ones.

Christine Pechera

xxo

BMT Reunion/Press Conference Photos

2008-06-09T00:20:00.000-07:00

I've been so busy lately, but I was FINALLY able to get some photos from the BMT Reunion from April 25th up on Flickr. It was the biggest turn-out for the press conference in the history of City of Hope! I'm still working on the captions and such but for those who missed the day, enjoy...

By the way, a reporter at the event talked to my parents and wrote a nice post on his blog.

xxo,
Christine

Midnight of Hope - City of Hope

2008-05-27T10:20:00.000-07:00

I've had quite a few requests to repost the poem I read last month at the City of Hope BMT Celebration of Life Event. Even with the 6000+ people in attendance, it was like a sharing in a wonderful family reunion. Thank you everyone again for making it such an unforgettable day.

This photo is just a small fraction of all the survivors who attended!

- - - - - - - - - -

The Midnight of Hope

Spent last New Year’s Eve at City of Hope
Alone in my room, didn’t know how I’d cope
Thinking of the all the champagne, the confetti, the cheers
Of others feasting and singing to welcome New Year’s

Friends came to visit but left before ten
I didn’t want friends to miss the parties and joy offered to them
Around the world people danced in the streets to celebrate the night
And here I was tethered, alone, fighting for my life

Broken and sobbing in my bed
Uncertainty and fear swirling in my head
Brooding about the fun at midnight I’d miss
Realizing… I had no one to kiss

Hearing the medical clicks from my IV pole
I remember….. I began to cry into my pillow
Holding on to Hope and not wanting to believe
That I probably wouldn’t see next New Year’s Eve

But now it’s a year later and I’m cancer-free
This year Times Square is waiting for me
I have City of Hope doctors and nurses to thank for this
And this year, I look forward to that sweet kiss

With my family and friends, we shall dance to celebrate this life
A second chance to live and laugh after so much strife
My dearest one who ever stood by my side
We’ll raise our glasses and sing to auld lang syne

:)

But thinking again, I realize I am wrong
"January 1st" only sings a small part of the song
For if Midnight can bring Hope, about Life Anew,
Of Joy, of Freedom and of Gratitude

If in the coldest of winter, at the darkest of night
We can still find in ourselves, our own Ball of Light
Then I don’t need Dick Clark or a Fireworks display
For the anniversary of my marrow transplant is my New Year’s Day

love,
Christine

BrittiCares (In Honor of Francis Rex)

2008-05-17T19:04:00.000-07:00

Today would have been my brother, Francis Rex's 34th Birthday. In his memory I participated in the annual BrittiCares "Smile for Life" 5K in Pacific Palisades.

BrittiCares was founded by Britti Henderson, a beautiful and bright and talented girl who enjoyed life to the fullest. At the age of ten, she was diagnosed with bone cancer. During her treatment and remission, she and her parents founded the non-profit organization dedicated to "embracing children diagnosed with cancer through the power of love." Sadly, a year later the cancer returned, this time in the form of Leukemia. Britti was only 13 years old when she passed away but her spirit and legacy live on in her BrittiCares foundation.

I met Britti's mother at the Pan-African Film Festival Marrow Drive for Jerome Williams a few months ago. She is an amazing woman. We talked about Britti and Francis Rex and the joys and sorrows of their memories. Imagine the shock and delight we both shared when it was discovered that the BrittiCare's annual 5K was scheduled on the same day as my brother's birthday! We had one of those "It was meant to be" moments.

Today my friend Frances M joined me in the Run/Walk. I pinned Rex's photo on my shirt and carried his photo with me.

Chris Tucker, most famous for his role opposite Jackie Chan in the "Rush Hour" movies, stayed all day to show his support. We had a chance to meet before kicking off the 5K with a "Survivor's Lap", honoring all cancer survivor's in attendance. Chris Tucker supports efforts to sign up more minorities onto the marrow registry, especially black Americans of African, Caribbean and mixed descent.

It was an inspiring day. Even the Goodyear blimp showed up and sent greetings down to all the participants on its huge electronic marquee.

The icing on the cake was being able to meet David Joyner, the guy who is THE guy who played Barney the purple dinosaur! And yes, "Barney" supports the cancer fight as well! That's him in the picture on the lower right. (That's also him as "Hip Hop Harry" in the picture in the upper right, doing the Survivor's lap with Chris Tucker and me.)

Britti will always be remembered as a brave and remarkable girl. To a great extent, I believe it is because she has the most loving and inspiring parents the world has ever seen.

Love,
Christine

mAssKickers

2008-05-14T18:13:00.000-07:00

I am honored to be profiled this week on the mAssKickers' website.

mAssKickers is dedicated to support young adult cancer patients between the ages of 16 and 39. Founded by brain tumor survivor Eric Galvez, mAssKickers provides information, support and a community for the newly diagnosed.

FOX – KCOP Channel 13

2008-04-30T11:17:00.000-07:00

Here is the FOX - KCOP Channel 13 News Segment:

Thanks again to all who came to share in the moment!

Blessings,
Christine

CW - KTLA 5 News Segment

2008-04-30T11:07:00.000-07:00

Here is the CW – KTLA Ch 5 News Segment regarding the Marrow Transplant Reunion at City of Hope, April 25, 2008.

love,
Christine

San Gabriel Valley News

2008-04-27T09:37:00.000-07:00

My friend Tim found this local article on the internet from the San Gabriel Valley News.

KABC Channel 7 News

2008-04-27T09:27:00.000-07:00

Family is still in town, otherwise I would write more but here is the link to the ABC News Story by Denise Dador who covered the momentous event on Friday.

Blessings,
Christine

Live Like You were Dying

2008-04-23T08:48:00.000-07:00

Fly now dear one
to your new home above
though my arms ache to hold you
I know you are safe in the loving arms of our Father
I lay my hand on my heart
and say another prayer

though I cry out for the pain you endured
I know that you are no longer suffering
and when I look up at the stars tonight
May you lay your hand on your heart
and smile down upon us all
and love like sunshine moonbeams
will still rush between us

The best way to remember those who've left us too soon is to live life fully, to dance while on this earth, as we carry their spirits within us.

Looking back on all the friends lost to cancer too soon, remembering, crying, praying, questioning and eventually accepting- what soon happens inside is a resolve. A resolve that is heart-strong and love-fierce.

Cancer may kill the body and while that is already devastating, if we allow it to also kill our soul, that is tragic.

I’ve seen people whose bodies survived cancer but whose souls did not. And yet others, such as Britti, who did not survive her cancer but whose soul and spirit lives on. Cancer can be tenacious, but so can we.

Whenever I am in a place where I hesitate out of fear (such as shyness or uncertainty) I remember. I remember the fighting spirits of those before and think to myself “If they were given the chance to live just one more day and were right here at this very moment… what would they do?"

Remembering Robin and her amazing spirit and love of life. Remembering how she lived fully, with grace and beauty even as she knew she was slowly dying. Living for her daughter and continuing to love and be there for her husband and family. Remembering that no matter how dire the circumstances, she always took the bull by the horns…

And remembering that Tim McGraw song that goes…

“I went Skydiving
I went Rocky Mountain climbing
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named FuManchu…”

And happening to be at a Western-style cowboy bar recently….

Knowing how fun-loving she was, I imagined that Robin was there with me and I thought "If Robin was right here at this very moment… what would she do?"

And then a smile came to my face.

"Alright Robin, this one is for you..."

Skydiving will be happening in some weeks, but for now, I decided to tackle Fu Manchu... at least a mechanical one.

"Love Deeper
Speak Sweeter
Give forgiveness you've been denying
Someday I hope you get the chance to live like you were dying.
-TMcgraw

In fierce remembrance and love,
Christine

Thieves

2008-04-17T11:52:00.000-07:00

I hope that by posting this video a small miracle will happen and Robin's husband Jason will have her things returned.

Here is the story as reported by NBC 11, San Francisco.

Robin Groff died Friday after a long battle with Leukemia. She'd fought to prolong her life so that she could spend more time with her 4-year-old daughter and her husband. But her life ended Friday in a Texas hospital, where she'd gone for treatment.Her husband, Jason, stopped in San Francisco's Haight Ashbury area on his way home to Sacramento to break the news of her death to friends. But at about 2 p.m. on Sunday, someone broke into the family car.The thieves took a black leather satchel containing the last mementos of Robin's life. Inside were her wallet, funeral preparations, her final notes, and a cherished piece of jewelry -- her wedding ring. The ring was to be given to her daughter.The family said they know it's unlikely the items will be returned, but they remain hopeful.Anyone with information in the case is asked to call San Francisco police.

Another Angel in Heaven

2008-04-13T21:43:00.000-07:00

Robin Rozier Groff April 4th, 1977- April 11th, 2008

I have been sitting here trying to find the right words to say. When we lost Robin, we lost a beautiful daughter, a loving mother, a loyal sister, a dear wife and an amazing friend. Robin and I both went through two marrow transplants and we planned on surviving this ordeal together. It wasn't supposed to happen this way. She was full of life. I am too heartbroken to write anything more.

Here is the message from the updates on Robin Groff’s website .

- - - - - - - - - -

Family and Friends- after a courageous battle, Robin went home to live with our Heavenly Father tonight. None of us ever wanted this day to come, but we find peace knowing that she is free of this terrible illness and surrounded by family and friends who have preceded her in death. Thank you so much for all of the love, prayers, thoughts, cards, emails, etc. over the past 2 1/2 years that have meant so much to Robin, Jason, Hailey, and our extended family. I will update the website as funeral arrangements are finalized.

- - - - - - - - - -

Please pray for Robin and her family, especially for her little girl, Hailey.

Wonderful News!!!!!

2008-04-04T13:22:00.000-07:00

I have some wonderful news to share!

Each year, City of Hope nominates and then selects two "exemplary" Bone Marrow Transplant survivors for the Press Conference at their annual "HCT Reunion - Celebration of Life" event. I just recently found out that I am one of the lucky two! There will be interviews and speeches but all that pales in comparison to the fact that City of Hope is flying out my donor ALL THE WAY FROM CHINA! My donor and I will meet face to face for the very first time in front of TV News cameras. I can't even imagine... meeting the man who gave me my life back and whose marrow is in my bones and whose very blood flows through my veins.

The event occurs in three weeks (Friday, April 25th) from 10am to 2pm on the City of Hope grounds. In addition to the press conference, there will be thousands of survivors and families in attendance. The event is like a picnic gone wild, with food, games, music and inspirational speeches from survivors and City of Hope doctors. It is a very positive, life-affirming experience. Imagine being surrounded by thousands of people who are grateful to be alive. :)

My parents are flying in from New York to meet Kent (my donor). A small entourage is already assembling who want to meet (and HUG!) the man who was my only hope.

These are photos from previous reunions. I like to think of this one as the grand finale, the final chapter, the end shot of a film. A Happy Hollywood ending to this Lifetime movie drama. I hope this will be my last appearance on TV as a "cancer survivor". (Frankly, if I were to be on TV again, I'd rather it be for other reasons!)

This is the moment we had been praying for all along.
Miracles DO happen.

Much Love,
Christine

This Woman's Work

2008-03-17T00:52:00.000-07:00

This is a personal thing that I don't think I've ever shared with anyone really. After hearing this Kate Bush song over the weekend, I came across the video on youtube. I feel enough years have gone by and enough has happened, (not just in my world but in the worlds of my friends and family) to warrant a posting. The video is a bit dated, but in the words of the song, the message is still the same.

Listening to this song helped me through the loss of my brother Francis Rex. To this day it continues to remind me that life is finite, thus cherish the moments and the people in your life... before it is too late.

love,
Christine

Atomic Jitterbombs!

2008-03-03T16:08:00.000-08:00

And now, I introduce my young friend Charisse who will be swinging with her team, the Atomic Jitterbombs at the Dance-a-Thon for City of Hope this Saturday March 8. Charisse will endure 24 hours of swinging, jitterbugging and possible potassium deficiency, all in the name of fighting cancer. Please help support this awesome gal reach her fundraising goal!

Here are excerpts from Charisse’s letter where she was trying to get herself psyched up despite the fact that she really can’t dance at all.

- - - - - - - - - -

I mean, really, Charisse --Having had the most influential and intriguing and inspiring people in your life battle with cancer themselves, ok... so you know you're not the best swinger, you're NOT the hippest cat, you're actually barely in the "swing-kitten" stage of things, you’re a clumsy little walker, you might even make a fool of yourself trying to dance for 24 hours with some of the greats, BUT you can take this on with the eye of a swing tiger, darn tootin'!!!

Charisse, this is for your family and family friends that passed: tita Ligaya, tita Carol, tito Conrad. They will never be forgotten! "This is for the people who taught you what love is! For your friends who press on with the most awe-inspiring perseverance: Christian (from grade school), Christine (a beautiful woman with the most amazingly mindful and unique perspective on life ...a great filmmaker and the truest friend you could ever ask for... someone who would call around at 2am for you just to help get your skits put together in time for class the next day, and who throws such fun parties, and is so much more alive than life...), this is for your Bobby... (who taught me so much about the value of life and trust, and God and faith... who taught me how to swing dance... who makes me want to be a better person on and off the dance floor...) this is for them... "You, can do this charisse... YOU CAN DO THIS, GIRL!!!!" ...

(to my team captain, i say) "YES, SIGN ME UP! My personal goal is $1000!!!" ... (Crowds cheer)... Then I realized that I have only exactly ONE WEEK to "gitderdone." (aAaAaaAAAAaAAAaaAAhh!!)

So here's the deal, I need your help. If you're stripped for cash, you can still tell your friends who might be better off right now. So, please please help! Please forward this email, let people know!

Please donate under my name, Charisse Mordeno, my team is called "The Atomic Jitterbombs!" ...

ALSO, if you're free next weekend, please, come join in on the festivities, it's an entire weekend of swing... free lessons, and if nothing else, it'll be a greeeeeeeeat show... the really good ones are reeeeeeally good.

THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart.

--Charisse

Positively Negative

2008-03-03T14:25:00.000-08:00

I had to undergo the big scary PET/CAT Scans the other day. It’s hard to believe that 20 months have passed since the transplant. There’s a period of nerves as the scan date approaches, and then noxious anxiety when waiting for the results. When you’re a patient, you know it’s bad if the doctor is giving you too much concern and attention. But when a doctor practically blows in and out of the room…

Here’s how it went:

Doc: (As he walks into the room) Negative. Negative. Negative.*
Me: Negative?
Doc: Everything’s negative.
Me: I’m still cancer free!
Doc: You’re as cancer free as the rest of us.
Me: “Yeeuuhh!”
[We hug]
Doc: (As he walks out of the room) Congratulations kid. You’re doing good.

- Winner for the shortest, sweetest doc appointment I’ve ever had! -

Much love,
Christine

*Negative is a good thing in cancerspeak. It means that your scans are clear. A “positive” means that something has positively shown up on your scans. That’s not good. When it comes to scans, it is the only time everyone wants to be viewed negatively. =)

Glenn And Marketa

2008-02-24T21:49:00.000-08:00

Glenn Hansard and Marketa Irglova received the Oscar for the song "Falling Slowly" from the movie 'Once' !!

Yay! I am so thrilled and and happy for them!!! Why do I mention this in my blog about surviving cancer? I have a secret to share.

For most of 2007, I was bed-ridden recovering from the bone-marrow transplant and a draining year in the hospital. Most of my time was spent shuttling back and forth from hospitals to doctor offices, then back to my apartment where I spent endless days a prisoner of low blood counts and fatigue.

One of the things that got me through this challenging period was music. But it was the soundtrack from the movie "Once" that I would play over and over again, carrying me through my most difficult times.

I have had many miracles happen in my life over the last two years and one of them was to be able to thank Glenn and Marketa for their indelible music, in person. I wasn't successful in holding back my tears, and neither was Glenn. I was shaking with gratitude as we gave/received the most heartfelt, loving, raw, pure, and fervid hug the world has ever seen. It felt like I finally made it home.

Thank you Glenn and Marketa, for reminding us that we are all truly bound together by hope.

Hugs,
Christine

I Love Man in a Uniform

2008-02-24T10:11:00.000-08:00

There is nothing like spending the day with LA’s Finest.

In an effort to find my friend Jerome Williams a much-needed donor, Project Africa Global spearheaded another marrow drive, this time at the Crenshaw Christian Center.

The LAPD and LAFD were having a recruitment day and thanks to LAPD Officer Joseph, who became aware of Jerome’s plight during the F.A.M.E. marrow drive, we descended upon a parking field full of young healthy recruits: perfect candidates for donating marrow.

The place was teeming with men in uniform. Most all of them were armed. I figured we were in the safest parking lot in Los Angeles that day. SWAT vans, helicopters, fire trucks, tanks and plenty of police cars also surrounded us. That meant, of course that there was plenty of giggling as we commandeered one vehicle after another.

During the drive I met a few strapping firemen. Captain Johnson let me try on his firefighting clothes. I was completely swallowed up under all the material! Along with the oxygen tank strapped to my back, everything weighed close to 100 lbs! Thinking about wearing all that gear and then running into a burning building… I have so much MORE respect now for what firemen do.

Cliff Okada from Asians for Miracle Marrow Matches stayed until the very end. While other booths had packed up and gone home, Cliff hung around to make sure that he’d be available to every last possible donor. He’s so awesome.

It turned out that many of the policemen and firemen were already signed up on the marrow registry! Yay! Noting his African-American heritage, one officer said, “It’s another way that I can help my community.” Another officer stated, “This is another way that I can help save someone’s life.” These guys are already taking bullets and charging into infernos. They don’t have to do this. But they sign-up anyway, because they know it’s the right thing to do. That’s hot.

The day ended with several more donors added to the registry, but the NMDP remains terribly lacking. For every patient that locates a potential donor, there are four who do not and thus never even get the chance to fight. Every registry counts. There's more than one way to be a Hero.

Fight On.

"Why I Write"

2008-02-03T21:57:00.000-08:00

This essay was originally posted on the old "savechristine.com" website. As most of you know, the website was lost when our host server was attacked by a malicious virus. I will be reposting some sections/writings from the old website for posterity sake. And also, that we may continue what we started. The marrow registry remains lacking in minority donors. There are still many other cancer patients searching for their miracle.

- - - - - - - - - -

“Why I Write”

I found out last night that another one of my cancer buddies has passed away. Struggling in my own fight, I neglected to ask about her. The news came from a friend who is also a survivor and who also sadly did not realize that Maria had lost her battle months before.

Maria was beautiful, even under fluorescent lights: a mocha skinned Latina with deep brown eyes. I first met Maria when her wheelchair was pushed next to mine, in the basement of a hospital, waiting in the hallway for our turn in the radiation room. We were both slouched over under the weight of nausea and exhaustion. Her hands were collapsed in her lap and by the heaviness of her small frame, I could tell she had been crying. In that moment, we became comrades fighting the same war. We were both terribly frightened.

After staring down at the speckled linoleum for some time, we instinctively turned to one other. “Doesn’t this suck?” Her voice broke apart into sobs as she spoke the words. I remember looking at her and seeing myself: A young woman in an old hospital gown. Scared. Cold. Alone. Afraid to die. Wondering what she did wrong to be punished like this. Begging God for a reprieve and pissed off at the rest of the world. It was 8:00am on a Tuesday. Most women our age were rushing off to work, going to class or seeing their kids off to school. Not us. They were alive and we were dying. It was so unfair. Acting maniacally optimistic, I slapped on a smile and rambled about how this was all temporary and this was what we needed to do to get well again. Maria just pursed her lips and half-nodded half-shook her head. The technicians came to wheel us to our respective radiation machines. We wished each other good luck. Less than one month later, Maria was gone. She never saw her 25th Birthday.

What is the meaning of life? Love. Why do we exist? To express this love.
Nothing else matters. Nothing.

Each one of us has been given a gift to give, a song to sing to this world. A doctor heals, a mother cares, a farmer feeds, a teacher inspires. Each one of us affects every one of us. And the love you give is the legacy you leave behind, and is the only part of you that lives forever. I am not a scientist or an architect. I cannot fix cars nor defend the innocent. I sing off-key and I am mediocre at sports. I don’t know if I am a good writer, but I do know that people have been moved by my words.

I have been writing since the age of 10, when I opened my first diary, but I never shared what I wrote. I kept every word, every poem to myself. I was afraid of being rejected. After I was diagnosed, I experienced a fear far worse than rejection, and that was the fear of never being heard. Of dying before you had had your chance to sing your song. So from my hospital bed, I began to share my words and poems and then the most wondrous thing happened: All the love I gave came right back to me. There was the day when an elderly man tearfully approached and sighed, “You wrote what I felt but couldn’t say”. There was the night when a girl Maria’s age hugged me and whispered, “Your words saved me.” She touched her belly and went on to share how she went from wanting to take her own life, to wanting to bring life into this world.

I made a promise to God and to myself that if I survived my illness, I would give all the love I could with whatever talent He has given me. Everyone has a song to sing. And this is mine.

Christine Pechera

SUNDANCE 1

2008-01-30T02:47:00.000-08:00

I'm finally in the papers for something other than cancer! Woo hoo!
Too bad I have no make-up on. Boo hoo! (j/k)

Ruben V. Nepales writes about the Sundance Film Festival and I happen to be in the picture.

Click HERE to see the article.

Will share more details about the festival later!

Life is good,
Christine

Hope Begins in the Dark

2008-01-11T16:52:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year everyone! Just got back in town. Lots to catch up on.

Healthwise, I'm doing okay. The GVH is back under control but still a bit shakey. My hair continues to grow in. (I actually have bangs now!) In a few weeks, I'll be celebrating a Birthday I thought I would never see. So thankful. It's been a long hard road but to be home and alive at 18 months post-transplant is not a bad place to be. I don't think you can get anymore extreme experiences: to be completely alone, locked away in a hospital room one year and then dancing in the middle of Times Square the next. What a blessed journey this has been! I hope everyone's New Year is going off to a good start. :)

This month sees the release of a new book by Jamie Reno; a staff writer at Newsweek and a Lymphoma survivor. In an effort to reach out to the newly diagnosed and to shed light on the patient perspective, Jamie interviewed 50 Lymphoma survivors ranging from CEOs to homemakers, doctors and soldiers, rock stars and PHDs. I'm story #15.

The survivors and stories in "Hope Begins in the Dark" are truly inspiring. The fact that they can all be found in one place is an incredible achievement and is a remarkable gift for all of us. The book was forged from survivors' own words in hopes of connecting those who have made it through the cancer journey to those who are just beginning their first steps. For anyone affected by Lymphoma, it is a must read.

Jamie secured a grant whereby he can give free copies of the book to
hospitals, support groups, patients, doctors and advocates. If you know anyone who you feel would benefit from this wonderful program, please feel free to forward the website.

Any proceeds from the book goes towards finding a cure.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I received this e-mail recently and wanted to share. This comes from a man who has been through so much himself and yet found the courage to see past his own problems and help another human being:

Hello and Happy New Year!

As many of you may already know, I have been determined to be a donor match for a 10 year old boy with a life threatening illness. I entered the bone marrow registry less than a year ago through a drive being held by at the church of one of my drum students here in Simi
Valley. The drive was held to find a match for a women in their congregation who unfortunately passed away before one could be found.

In mid-November, I was contacted by the National Marrow Donor Program as a possible match along with 3 others for this boy. After further testing, it was determined that I was a match for all six antigens and was asked to give either bone marrow or stem cells. As it turns out I will be giving stem cells which in the case of the young boy are more beneficial. I am honored with this opportunity and take the responsibility very seriously.

The donation is scheduled for January 8th. On Friday 1/4/08, I will
begin daily injections of Filgristan, a drug to increase my stem cell
production. I will have only minor discomfort during this time and
expect to be able to continue to work. At the same time the boy will
begin receiving massive doses of chemotherapy which he will likely not survive should I become unable to donate for reasons such as becoming ill etc. This is a risk his family has decided to take considering the severity of his condition.

The donor/collection will take place at UCLA Medical Center. I will
have have blood taken from one arm and cycled through a machine that will extract my stem cells then cycle my blood back through my other arm. This will take only 6 to 8 hours and leave me a little tired, however, ready for work the next day.

I ask that each of you pray for my health leading up the donation and more importantly the health of the young boy leading up to and especially following the stem cell donation. His recovery period will be approximately 1 year. I hope it is Gods will to save the young life of this boy. I was told by the National Marrow Donor organization that the odds for him finding a match were similar to the odds of winning the lottery.

Please visit the National Marrow Donor site at marrow.org to find a donor event. It takes a few short minutes to become part of their registry, just a swab from your cheek. There are over 60,000 people at any given week in the U.S. waiting for a donor match and anyone can make a difference in someone else's life.

H.A.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Continue the Love.....

Christine

Merry Christmas

2007-12-25T02:00:00.000-08:00

Last Christmas I was sick and stuck in a hospital room. This Christmas I am walking in the New York holiday magic and singing along to carols in Rockefeller Center. I'm counting my blessings.

Here's my dorky gift: An attempt to identify the musicians in "Do They Know It's Christmas?" I've always loved this song.

I don’t recognize EVERYONE but this is what i do know (or at least i think i know):

0:05 Bob Geldof (Boomtown Rats)
0:10 John Taylor (DuranDuran)
0:12 Sting (The Police)
0:15-Paul Young
0:31-Boy George (Culture Club)
0:46 Phil Collins (Genesis)
0:48 George Michael (Wham)
0:59 Simon LeBon (DuranDuran)
1:09 Sting and Simon LeBon
1:14 Tony Hadley (Spandau Ballet)
1:30 Bono (U2)
1:40 Paul Weller (The Jam, Style Council)
1:46 Midge Ure (Ultravox) at sound board
1:47 Gary Kemp (Spandau Ballet) with John Taylor
1:56 Glenn Gregory (Heaven 17) In black
2:05 Midge Ure second from right
2:12 Marilyn in foreground with Glenn Gregory
2:28 Bananarama
2:29 Kool and the Gang
2:30 Jody Watley (Shalamar)
2:37 Francis Rossi (Status Quo)
3:26 Rick Parfitt (Status Quo)
3:31 Marilyn
3:32 Jon Moss (Culture Club)
3:36 Nick Rhodes (DuranDuran)
3:37 Andy Taylor (DuranDuran

Happy Holidays!

Much Love,
Christine

The Midnight of Hope

2007-12-23T11:30:00.000-08:00

Recently my Writing for Wellness group at City of Hope was asked to pen a poem about New Year's. Recalling exactly where I was last year, and the miracle that I am still *here* this year, this poem just sort of wrote itself. It's a bit dippy, but I thought I would share it anyway.

I've lost many friends to cancer this year. Fellow warriors and fellow hearts. Each one of us equally frightened, yet equally determined. Each one a compelling, inspirational story of courage and hope. All of us in mutual support of one another. Sometimes I feel guilty that I am still here and they are not. This holiday season, I am taking nothing for granted. This holiday season, is in remembrance of them.

Not only is life precious, but it is precarious. We are far more fragile than we let ourselves on to believe. But we are also far more resilient.

Hold your loved ones closer this year. Forgive and be giving. And for those who have loved ones spending their first Christmas in heaven, know that when you feel the Christmas spirit in your heart, it is them loving you.

xo,
christine

- - - - - - - - - -

The Midnight of Hope

Spent last New Year’s Eve at City of Hope
Alone in my room, didn’t know how I’d cope
Thinking of the all the champagne, the confetti, the cheers
Of others feasting and singing to welcome New Year’s

Friends came to visit but left before 10 p.m.
I didn’t want friends to miss the parties and joy offered to them
The world danced in the streets to celebrate the night
And here I was tethered, fighting for my life

Broken and sobbing in my bed
Uncertainty and fear swirling in my head
Brooding about the fun at midnight I’d miss
Realizing… I had no one to kiss

Hearing the medical clicks from my IV pole
I remember, I began to cry into my pillow
Holding on to Hope and not wanting to believe
That I probably wouldn’t see next New Year’s Eve

But now it’s a year later and I’m cancer-free
This year Times Square is waiting for me
I have doctors and loved ones to thank for this
And this year, I look forward to that sweet kiss

:)

But thinking again, I realize I am wrong
January 1st only sings a small part of the song
For if Midnight can bring Hope, about Life Anew,
Of Joy, of Freedom and of Gratitude

If in the coldest of winter, at the darkest of night
We can still find in ourselves, our own Ball of Light
Then I don’t need Dick Clark or a Fireworks display
For the anniversary of my marrow transplant is my New Year’s Day

In Remembrance of Elizabeth

2007-12-16T14:26:00.000-08:00

Cancer vixen, fellow traveler and true friend Elizabeth Terry has passed.

Elizabeth and I were already close friends before we both relapsed within a week of each other two years ago. We were both given grave odds. We were both determined to beat it. We made a promise there would be a day when our yet-to-be-born children would play with each other.

Some of you may remember her from the BBQ get-together, held the week before I was admitted to the hospital for the bone-marrow transplant. Though fighting cancer herself, Elizabeth came to offer support and hope. As usual, her English wit and charm won everyone over.

Some of you may remember her from those scary few days at the hospital in Santa Monica, when I was close to death with that terrible infection. Elizabeth was in the middle of chemotherapy herself, but she was there in the room with everyone else, helping to lead the fight to get me better care.

Elizabeth was feisty, yet elegant. Handed down worse and worse odds with each passing month, Elizabeth handled her situation with grace and sublime defiance. Never did she lose the fire behind her eyes. With her English roots, she would often relay bad news with perfect poise and finely tuned resilience.

When we would meet at City of Hope for Chemotherapy, Elizabeth would say "Are you ready for your spa treatment? This is the best, most expensive spa treatment anyone can ever get! Aren't we lucky?"

Elizabeth was a global writer. Her work took her from the outskirts of Australia to an honored place within Princess Di’s circle of trust.

Elizabeth was truly a remarkable woman. After confessing of the declining state of her health, she would quickly brush off any pity, self or otherwise and turn bright around to say “Well enough of that! Would you like some tea? I can make us cheese sandwiches…” We would spend the afternoon talking about everything we would do once we got better. Elizabeth was so perspicacious and courageous that I didn't doubt there would be a day when we would toast champagne in Le Cap d'Antibes.

Elizabeth’s husband, James, never left her side. At one point he was holding down several jobs to keep up with medical expenses all the while accompanying Elizabeth to as many appointments as possible. He held her hand in the quiet times and fought hard for her when there was a call to battle. James was completely devoted and stood by her every step of the way. That is the mark of a true man. Today, our thoughts are with him.

Elizabeth is deeply missed. Her indefatigable spirit continues in our hearts.

Here is her obituary published in the Los Angeles Times today:

- - - - - -

TERRY, Elizabeth Jane Marchant March 7, 1962 - Dec. 7, 2007, a versatile journalist who lived in Paris, London and Los Angeles, was working on "Gardening Angel," a book to be published by HarperCollins San Francisco about growing and cooking with cancer-fighting herbs and vegetables and the power of gardening--for body, mind and spirit. Born in Santa Monica to British parents, she spent her childhood between Sherborne, England, and Santa Monica. Her beauty and charm, as well as fluency in French, German and English, were assets in her various journalism posts at magazines including People and Celebrity Bulletin, in Paris; InStyle, and several British newspapers in London; and the Palisadian Post, House & Garden, Vanity Fair and The New Yorker in Los Angeles. In 1999, she accepted a position as West Coast Editor for eLuxury, the online website of the French fashion conglomerate, LVMH and also launched into a successful freelance writing career covering topics that interested and amused her: gardens, home decor, travel, interesting personalities and local Santa Monica history. With good doctors, deep friendships and newfound faith she was able to continue laughing, traveling, writing, and helping others. Elizabeth is survived by her father, two brothers, a sister, a step-father, two nieces, and her loving husband, James Terry. In lieu of flowers, Terry has asked that donations be made in honor of Benjamin Shapiro to the Tuberous Sclerosis Alliance, 801 Roeder Road, Silver Spring, MD, 20910. A service will be held on December 20th at 11:00 a.m. at All Saints Church, 132 North Euclid Avenue, Pasadena. A reception will follow.

- - - - - -

We had love left undone
We had words left unspoken
I still hold things I promised you.
Guilt withers visions of trips untaken
Of ghostly towns
And dying flowers
Dried stalks crumble in the hand.
You penned wishes in notebooks
Squeezed between paragraphs of disappointment.
We promised and planned but delayed for convenience.
A regret that cannot be atoned.
“Some day” never came.

Remember Elizabeth by living Now.

-cp

Priestley Hugs for the Holidays

2007-12-08T13:54:00.000-08:00

Jason Priestley gives good hugs.

Toluca Lake held their annual Christmas Parade and Open House last night, replete with carolers, bagpipers, a bevy of cookies and candy and, for the 24th year, the Magical Christmas Caroling Truck.

Once again, Cinema Secrets, opened their doors and hosted a Marrow Drive during the festivities. My friend, Jerome Williams is still in need of a marrow donor and once again, A3M was there to lend a hand.

After we spoke, Jason was eager to join the registry and immediately said "yes", walking straight up to the sign-up table. The lovely Aileen Malig walked him through the steps of what it takes to become a donor. Ms Aileen is one of A3M's best.

The Cinema Secrets family was generous, kind and full of life. They give so much to their community and are role models for how good business and good people can make a difference. Debra (above with pink scarf) was the main instigator of good. Not only is she beautiful but she is an angel immeasurable.

Even though people were busy shopping, snacking and parade watching, many took the time to sit down, swab their cheeks and apply to the registry. As usual, people had a lot of questions, but once they understood how easy and how awesome it is to be a marrow donor, they were reaching for the swabs. It was like a big party. The whole evening was a blast and probably one of the most fun marrow drives we've ever held!

Anyone can save a life. Even Beverly Hills, 90210 types. :)

Happy Holidays Hugs!

-cp

Ignite

2007-11-20T23:41:00.000-08:00

Here is an abridged version of a speech I recently gave:

The PSA you just saw happened last year. A year ago today I was still
in the hospital. Even with all efforts to save my life, my prognosis was
very grim, with less than a 10% chance of survival. But because of my
donor, I was given a chance to fight. I am so blessed to be standing
here tonight.

We are all blessed to be here tonight. To be in this theater, sitting in
these chairs. We are here because we are HEALTHY enough. We are
here because we are ALIVE.

But what keeps us alive? What keeps us going? Is it love? Is it
strength? Perhaps it is the person sitting next to you. The fact is, inside
each of us there is a life-force... A desire. A fire. A will to live. A great
flame inside us. I believe it is fueled by faith, by love, by hope.

But there are times when we do feel depleted, or worse, when we feel
nothing, as if something has extinguished our inner light.

God works through us. "Us" meaning we, you, me, the person sitting
behind you. We are the vessels for God’s work. Whether you believe in
him or not, He works through you.

When you are in that place where you are ready to give up. When
loneliness consumes your night. When there is nothing left inside you
but a lost soul or a torn heart. That is when love, working through even
just one single person, can heal. The miracle of the touch of another
can heal anything.

The inner flame inside each of us can re-ignite a broken heart into a
blazing inferno. Like one candle to another candle. One person can
rekindle another’s inner life-force. Another's soul.

This is what donating marrow is all about. This is what makes life
meaningful. It is God creating his miracles through us.

One person to another.

There remains thousands of cancer patients whose life-force is barely a
flicker. Whose flames are about to be extinguished.

Right now I want you Breathe in deep and breathe out slowly.

Feel that? That is the life-force within you. That is God’s love inside
you. YOU have the fire within to re-ignite the life of another.

It is literally in your marrow.

You may be the miracle someone is searching for.

Tonight we come to support A3M’s efforts to save lives. Tomorrow,
let’s be a part of it.

Trust me, it’s awesome.

Thank you. God Bless. And don’t forget to let your light shine.

Wishing a Blessed Thanksgiving,
Christine

Book Signing Sunday, In Memory of Joel

2007-11-17T14:15:00.000-08:00

Almost forgot to mention that I will be at a Book Signing in Duarte at
City of Hope Sunday, November18 from 9-12. I'll be promoting & signing
the "Writing for Wellness" book, along with some of the other contributing
writers. For those who cannot make it, you can buy the book on Amazon.
All proceeds go to benefit City of Hope. I'll be at the table at the "Walk for
Hope" fundraiser to fight breast cancer.

I'm dedicating tomorrow and every WFW book I sign forevermore to the
memory of Joel Schickman, who passed away this morning after a long
and difficult fight.  Joel was in his early 30s, a well-loved Rabbinical
student and talented musician. Diagnosed with Leukemia, Joel's only
hope was to endure the rigors of a Bone Marrow Transplant.  Thankfully,
a donor was found and Joel went into remission.

However, Joel's health turned for the worse, when his body was invaded
by a hospital infection last week. His passing is a tragic loss.  Today the
earth hums the lullaby of a broken heart.  His beautiful wife Heather
embodied tremendous grace and strength throughout, caring not only for
Joel, but for their three small boys.

Joel was diagnosed only nine months ago and everyone who loved and
cared for him, everyone he touched in his life, is still coming to terms as to
why such an amazing soul would be taken from us too soon.  Joel
embraced G-d and embraced life.  Let us keep his spirit alive and honor
his memory by living life just like he did, with tremendous love.


Below is today's update from his CarePage.

-----

He Is Gone

November 17, 2007
7 Kislev 5768
9:42 a.m. PST

Joel fought very hard, but there were too many infections with too
many contradicting cures. He chose to fight with everything the
doctors had. His soul hummed inside of him with the rhythms of the
ventilator and monitors, and when it broke free I know your prayers
carried it upon wings of song back to his Creator.




-----

Remember Joel next time you sing.

Love,
Christine

Oh What a Night

2007-10-22T19:00:00.000-07:00

***(The photo upload isn't working today so I had to improvise.
Sorry for the weird layout!)***

So a funny thing happend to me this week. A friend called from a party in New York
and said that a bunch of people there saw me on TV a few days ago.
I thought, “Wha?”

I didn’t even know there were TV news cameras at A3M’s Gala event last weekend.
It was an amazing and very surreal night and yours truly got a taste of what it
feels like to be a mini-celebrity.

Once we were seated for dinner, my friend Jerome said “Hey, that’s you.” Again, I
said “Wha?” turned around in my chair and (trumpets please) there is a HUGE shiny
poster to the left of the stage. There I am, all 12 feet of me, my head three feet across
and (horror!) dancing like a dork in the $8 green 80’s dress from Prom Night! Adding to
the weirdness were quotes from my writings, layered to the side of and below my
exuberant image. It looked like one of those Laker flags at Staples Center.

The elegant dinner consisted of hundreds of people. Asian-American actors were
honored and people spoke. Then it was time for my speech. People were clinking
glasses and jangling forks and I thought, “Oh, great. Everyone’s busy eating.” But I
leaned on the podium anyway and began to read my speech. Some sentences in, I
realized I had not looked up and the room had gone eerily quiet. Still reading the
speech, I lifted my head to see a cornfield of eyes locked on my face. Even the wait
staff had become paralyzed in mid-service, clutching water pitchers and empty salad
plates.

The speech ended in a burst of applause and I slinked back to my chair, humbled once
more. A tap on the shoulder, I turn around and there smiles Yuji Okumoto. He said
“Beautiful words. Incredible story. You’re an inspiration.” But all I could think was “Oh
my GAWD! You’re the guy from Karate Kid II !” Here’s the pic to prove it.

After dessert, the VIPs sauntered into the main theater. I had to rush backstage
because I was basically the “opening act”. As I came down the hallway, every security
guard had an earpiece and as I walked by, they would press their fingers against their
ears ala Mission Impossible. The communiqué was “Christine is coming down the main
hallway and headed towards the stage door”. Wha? What am I?! Aerosmith?!

The main act was Martin Nievera, who has been described as the “Ricky Martin of the
Philippines”. We barely had a chance to bond before I was ushered from the green
room to the stage. It was the first time I saw the theater and when I looked up, what
went through my head was “O.M.F.G.!!!!!” The place was HUGE.

It reminded me of a Vienna opera house. There was a Mezzanine AND three additional
tiers. Gulp. The MCs for the evening darted past me and onto the stage and (adding to
the surrealism) began to talk about someone named “Christine Pechera”. Then the
room hushed once more and projected on the giant movie screen was the latest short
film of my story. So I’m standing there, watching this film and living through the
transplant all over again. Up on screen, I am in cotton hospital gown, bald, bloated and
in turmoil. It was quite a contrast to my silk red evening gown, heels, coiffed hair and
the undeniable realization once more of “Wow. I’m still breathing… this kicks azz!”

The film ends and a nudge from the stage manager has my heels echoing across the
stage to the podium. The place was cavernous. After the applause died down, I
squinted into the white-hot spotlight and for a brief second, had to resist the urge to
raise my arms ala Evita and sing, “Don’t cry for me ArgenTINA!”

Since the same hundreds of people from the Gala dinner were now peppered in the
audience of perhaps 2000, I had prepared a completely different speech. At one point,
I had the entire theater inhale and exhale slowly as one. That was pretty awesome.

After I spoke, I thought, “Great, my job is done. Time to relax” and I snuck to my chair
in the audience. Martin Nievera bursted onto the stage and rocked the house. I was
enjoying the music when suddenly things went Twilight Zone again. I heard my name
bellowing from the huge speakers, echoing all around. “Where is she?! Where is
Christine Pechera?!” cried out Mr. Nievera. My eyes widened. “Oh NO, he isn’t!” The
house lights came up and Martin was now at the edge of the stage, hand on his brow as
if peering through the fog for a distant ship. Oh well… you only live once… so I bolted
up from my seat, frantically waved my arms and screamed “I’m HERE Marteeeeeen!!!!!”
The entire audience in the orchestra section around me was sitting low in their seats and
there I was bopping up and down like a Jack-In-The-Box. As soon as I stood up, there
was a collective gasp as in “Oh my God, she is sitting right HERE?! Holy shmokie!” I
guess should have asked for a box seat?

Anyway, Martin spots me and says some nice things, which makes my cheeks blush.
Then the lights go down, the spotlight hones in and Nievera SERENADES me from the
stage! It was like one of those teenage Rock’n’Roll fantasies where Elvis picks YOU
out of the crowd, points and says “Hey you. (hubbahubba) Yeah you. (a-hubba) I’m
singing this next song just for YOU.” The song was called Wildflower and the lyrics
went something like ”She’s made it. She’s finally made it. She’s blooming wide, like a
wildflower.”

At intermission, I decided to go to the lobby to look at the items in the Silent Auction.
With my “entourage”, we passed the earpieced security guards, pushed beyond the
stage door and out into the crowd.

I never made it to the Silent Auction tables.

I couldn’t walk more than a step or two before a nice man wanted a picture or an
excited lady wanted to meet or another wanted to share her story. I tried my best to
answer all questions and fulfill all requests but had to retreat backstage when it became
too much. But backstage, photos were taken with the choir, the stage managers,
members of the band, press people and of course, Martin Nievera.

Towards the end the evening, a staff member of A3M approached me and said, “I don’t
know what you said or did but the marrow drive in the lobby is out of control!” When I
last checked there were well over 100 people signed up and more to go. It was the
most registrants A3M had ever seen on their annual Gala night... ever. More signed up
than in the last five Gala nights combined. Cool!

As one of the founders of A3M said, “This was a magical night”. And it was. I met
some incredible people and heard some amazing stories of survival. This included other
BMT survivors and those recently diagnosed. In the end, we are all in this together.
My goal for the night was about creating awareness, spreading the word, and saving
lives. I wanted to inspire others to speak up, to live, to DO something. I think we,
(that is EVERYONE who contributed to the Gala fundraiser) can say we changed a
small part of the world that night. On posters and invites, the evening was fittingly
called the “Miracles” concert.

Long after the concert was over, there remained a serpentine line outside waiting as
Nievera signed autographs at a table. I was spent from all the attention and just wanted
to go home, light some candles and soak in a hot bath. As I walked out, Nievera’s PR
guy called out to me, and turned to Nievera exclaiming, “Christine is LEAVING!” Martin
jumped from his chair and we hugged across the velvet ropes. He whispered, “You stay
healthy”. I gushed, “You stay awesome.” (I’m such a cheeseball!)

As I walked out to leave, a small group of people followed. I guess they wanted to
watch me climb into my limo and wave as I headed back to my swanky mansion in
the Hollywood Hills. The problem: There is no mansion and there was no Limo. Instead
everyone was treated to a walk into the parking lot and the sing-song of my car.
“Beep-Bip-BOOP!”

The engine purred, I shifted gears, and headed towards the Freeway back to Reality.

xo,
cp

Big A3M Benefit this Sunday, Oct 14

2007-10-11T14:26:00.000-07:00

Just a quick update:

This Sunday, October 14, I have the honor of being the guest
speaker at a dinner and concert benefit for Asians for
Miracle Marrow Matches. The event is A3M's main annual
fundraiser.



Philippine songster Martin Nievera will be performing from his
repetoire in addition to American standards, oldies and classic
Broadway hits. Attached is the flyer for anyone who is curious
or interested in attending.  I plan to dance in the aisles.

http://www.asianmarrow.org/events/martin2007/index.htm


Even with all the involvement in cancer related activities,
I am slowly but surely rebuilding my "normal" life; shedding
the role of "cancer patient" and embracing a beautiful new
and healthy La Vie en Rose.  Thank God for second chances…

Much Love,
Christine

Writing for Wellness

2007-10-03T08:07:00.000-07:00

Today marks the release of "Writing for Wellness: A Prescription for Healing". I am honored to be one of the many contributing writers in this life-changing book.

"Writing for Wellness" is based on the writer's group of the same name at City of Hope, a group I have been part of since my first treatment at the cancer center.

The book illustrates how one can cope, connect and heal through writing. It contains inspirational submissions by cancer patients, caregivers, survivors and family members. Truly, it is a rare glimpse into the minds and hearts of people going through one of the greatest trials of their life. It is also a practical "how to" for anyone who wants to learn how writing can help you heal.

The City of Hope writing program, presented in the book, was developed by Julie Davey, a former writing and journalism professor and two-time cancer survivor.

Because of the book, the writing program is already being adopted at other hospitals across the country. We, the writers, ultimately hope that the healing and sharing we experienced in our little group will be re-created and repeated for others. By sharing our words, we hope to help many who are going through grave and uncertain times.

The book is available through many sources, including Amazon.com.

All proceeds from the book go to City of Hope.

Hugs,
Christine

Making a Run for It

2007-10-02T17:47:00.000-07:00

When I first was diagnosed with cancer five years ago I kept repeating to myself “Only good will come of this. Whether I live or die, only good will come of this.” I prayed this everyday.

And out of the fire, good did come.

Most of this good was not by my hands but by the hands of strangers and friends. And it is wonderful to see that “good” continues to pay it forward.

A few months ago, my friend Barbara would have laughed if you asked her to trod a full mile non-stop. But after hearing the news of my clear scans and being cancer-free she thought “Wouldn’t it be great to give to another cancer patient, the chance to experience the miracle that Christine has accomplished.” A self-proclaimed “not a runner type”, she is currently in training for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society half-marathon to raise money to fight cancer. Barbara is awesome. Check out her homepage and see a nostalgic photo of what I used to look like in that big blue hospital mask:

http://www.active.com/donate/tntgla/tntglaBGregso

My friend and fellow Bone Marrow Transplant survivor, Janice and her husband Larry will be participating in the “Light the Night” Walk this Sunday in Woodland Hills. The walk raises money to, you guessed it, fight cancer. Janice and I were roommates at City of Hope. She continues to support and help patients, whether it be raising funds for research or sitting bedside to lend a hand to hold onto. Janice is a goddess. Here is her page:

http://www.active.com/donate/ltnLosAn/2046_JLevyLTN

Both of these fundraising walks address blood cancers, the category of cancer in which my Lymphoma diagnosis falls under. If you can contribute to help find a cure for this disease, please do. It’s amazing what a few dollars put in the right direction can do to change the world.

Changing gears. I’d like to thank the team who participated in my name (In my honor? What’s the right word here?) at the Beer Olympics in Williamsburg, Brooklyn recently. A good time for a good cause. Congratulations guys!

Hugs,
Christine

I'm Back!

2007-09-27T16:20:00.000-07:00

I'm back after an emotional
homecoming to the Northwest
and the East coast. It was the
first time I was allowed on a
commercial flight since
December 2005. As the plane
lifted off the earth, my throat
clenched and tears began to stream down
my cheeks. I thought, “My God, I
made it. We did it. It’s August 2007 and I’m alive.” This thought popped into my head everyday, several times a day as I made my way through the
streets of Seattle, strode the great avenues of Manhattan and sailed the
gleaming waters of Martha’s Vineyard. A year ago I didn't even have the
strength to walk more than a few feet. Now I am riding my bike for miles
and making plans for months ahead. MONTHS ahead!!! You have no idea
how GOOD that feels for someone who, at one point, wondered everyday
if she would make it through the night.


I have not updated my blog in the last few weeks because I took a much
needed break.  It has been 21 straight months of searching, fighting,
praying, hoping, crying, introspecting, speaking, reaching, dealing
with, recovering, writing, giving, surviving and talking cancer.  I
needed some downtime before embarking on this second chance at life.

I have much to catch up on, plus there is a lot going on, so instead
of writing one huge onerous message, I’m going to break it up into
smaller bites so all the details are easier to digest.  For now,
here’s a quick summary:




While on this first vacation, I found out that my survival story and
prom celebration were on the front page of a few national papers and
that a video news segment about the party was broadcast around the
world via satellite TV.  “Forever Young 2007” is probably the only
fake prom to ever be broadcast worldwide!  It’s wonderful to know that
a small group of people, dancing under aluminum stars and paper
streamers, (in terrible 80s outfits, mind you) can create so much hope
for so many. :)













The Writing for Wellness book is coming out next week and we already
have thousands of pre-orders via Amazon.com.  The writing program
developed in our class (and featured in the book) is being introduced
to health centers across the country.  We (the writers) are excited to
know that other patients and families will benefit from the healing
power of writing and sharing with others. All proceeds from the book
benefit City of Hope.  I’ll send the link soon.

I continue to speak at events and fundraisers and will give more
details about a huge dinner/concert event on October 14 for A3M (I’ll
be speaking in front of up to 2000 people that night!), a big
dinner/dance on November 10 for Angels of Hope, and a Comedy
fundraiser later this winter in San Francisco for the Asian-American
Donor program.

I have a few friends who are participating in marathons and walks to
raise money and awareness for cancer research.  Please look out for
those updates and help support someone who is trying to make a
difference.  All you have to do is pledge.  They will do all the hard
work for you! (Meaning running like, 26 MILES!)  All you have to do is
click "send".

There’s probably more pertinent stuff I’ll remember over the next day
or two.  Yup, got a lot of catching up to do!  In more ways than one.
Life is good.

Love,
Christine

pre-Prom Update

2007-08-11T01:30:00.000-07:00

We have so much to celebrate this weekend. My father's voice broke
apart on the phone when he realized that this "Celebration of Life"
was actually happening. I cried too. Who would have guessed that
this devastating nightmare would have such a fairytale outcome. I'm
so thankful for every little thing, every little moment of every day.

The results of the "one-year" Bone Marrow Biopsy came back 100% donor.
In the past, "100% donor" meant "promising" or "a good sign". The
marrow also came back "clear". This triple-confirms that the cancer
has completely vanished. At 13 months out, it is safe to officially
say that the donor marrow has taken and that the transplant is
successful.

My brother and I in the fountain at Cal Anderson Park in Capitol Hill

I just returned from Seattle, my first trip since all this began so
long ago. When the plane lifted off the tarmac my heart burst with so
much happiness that I couldn't stop tearing up. It wasn't until we
reached altitude that I let it sink in... I am finally free. Up in
Seattle, I met more people whose lives were changed by this crazy
journey. A church that conducted a marrow drive honored me, my family
and my friends C and M. I also met someone whose life was literally
saved by the campaign. It was incredibly humbling.

When the one-year milestone passed, I received the name and contact
info of my donor. I was handed a Chinese name and an e-mail address.
I stared at it for a week. I couldn't believe my donor, my hero, was
only a click away. We are now communicating via e-mail. His wife is
a 10-year survivor of APL. They have a son. My donor's name remains
anonymous to the public for now... at least until I get his permission
to reveal his name to everyone. I can't wait for the day when we will
meet face to face.

The Prom, to me, is like a high school graduation. It represents the
end of a special time and the beginning of an expanded time. We are
all blessed. I am in tears as I write this. Thank you, everyone
everyone everyone for seeing this girl through to the other side.

Love,
Christine

P.S. Let's ROCK the house.

Remembering Harrison

2007-07-31T19:53:00.000-07:00

Harrison Leonardo, after spending more than half of his precious life
fighting cancer, has passed away. Harrison's story was and always has
been... and will continue to be... one of major inspiration to me and
so many others.

Life... is... Precious...

with love,
christine

PET/CT Scan Resuts

2007-07-21T02:58:00.000-07:00

PET/CT Scan Results

My Bone Marrow Transplant specialist, Dr. Nade called to read the official report:

"There has been COMPLETE RESOLUTION of previously identified anterior mediastinal hypermetabolic tissue. There is no evidence of metabolically active neoplasm."

In other words, the tumors have completely vanished. Poof. Gone. The scans are 100% crystal clear.

My radiologist, Dr. Krazny said:

"There is no indication of cancer whatsoever."

Not one blip. Not even a speck. I'm as fresh as a newborn.

My oncologist, Dr. Piro showed me the scans. The images were a cool blue, a peaceful blue. A vast empty void of pure, unadulterated pristine health.

I am absolutely, completely, without-a-doubt, you-betcha-britches cancer-free.

After 20 months of uncertainty and heartache, this is beyond Miracle.

All my love,
Christine

P.S. More later. I need to sit down and catch my breath!

Upcoming Scans

2007-07-16T13:01:00.000-07:00

The nervousness is beginning to mount as the dates for the PET/CT scans and Bone Marrow Aspiration procedure approach. I cannot stress enough how important these tests are. The results of these tests are EVERYTHING to me. It's like waiting for the letter telling you whether you got into your dream college or not. Or waiting to hear if you got that awesome job. Or waiting for that pregnancy test to turn blue or not. Your whole life hinges on the results. Except this time, it is not the course of your life but literally your own life that is at stake.

I've been doing okay and been dealing with only minor to moderate health issues (knock on wood!). These tests will determine if the bone marrow transplant was truly a success and possibly determine if it will be a long-term success.

Thursday, July 19 I have my PET/CT scans in Santa Monica and Tuesday, July 24 is the Bone marrow aspiration. I should get the results soon after. I hope to come back with good news.

hugs,
Christine

P.S. I will be at City of Hope for a day of appointments tomorrow. I was hoping we could say a little prayer for my hormone levels which remain a bit tweaked.

Francis Rex

2007-07-13T03:30:00.000-07:00

Originally I was going to post a message I wrote the other day about how I celebrated my one-year BMT anniversary on July 5th. However another anniversary, a somber one that I feel is far more important to remember, is also upon us.

Friday July 13th 2007, will mark the anniversary of the day my brother, Francis Rex, lost his battle with Cancer. Seventeen years ago, on Friday July 13th 1990, I held his hand as it slowly went cold. I remember my mother didn't scream. She cowered over the hospital bed, exhausted and broken after five draining years, pleading with everyone in the room to please "Embrace him while he is still warm." I remember my father frozen and unreachable, his eyes scorched and sunken, staring at the white sheets that held his eldest son. I remember the nurses sobbing. And it was the doctor who had gone mad and was screaming, clenching hair in ripping fists, repeatedly shouting over and over and again, "He is in a better place now!" Shouting at no one, but instead, it seemed, to placate himself.

And my thoughts raced, raced as far as it could go, out of the room, away from this boy who could not possibly be my brother because my brother could not possibly be dead. My thoughts ran far away, back to when before he got sick. Back to BMX bikes and Rocket pops and Little League games. Back to summer and hopping across river stones, watermelon juice dripping on bent elbows, and silly giggles in the back of our big red station wagon. In our backyard pool we used to pretend "National Geographic". Rex would flop, swim and splash while I'd play Jacques Cousteau and follow his every move, describing in great detail this "strange new animal" to our enraptured TV audience.

In the years before he died, Rex and I would often stay up late talking. While other kids were gabbing about GI Joe, Donkey Kong and soccer camp, Rex and I would ask each other questions about God and life and what happens after we die. Back then, I was 14 and he was 12. He dreamed someday to become a pediatric oncologist and save the lives of other children with cancer. His wish was to be able to comfort a young patient like himself and give hope with his own story of survival… "So when one of them says `I'm scared' I can tell them I was scared too but look at me now, I'm cured."

In the days that my brother fought cancer, he never complained or revealed how scared he was. Rex held immense strength, profound wisdom and peace in his heart… all in the years before he turned 16. Because of our late night talks I thought I understood what he was feeling inside. But it was not until I got cancer that I truly understood and felt what fear and uncertainty really meant. To know the meaning of life is to know the meaning of death. My brother was so brave. There was no such thing as anti-nausea medications or any of the other medicines that help the patients of today. Back then, it was just raw, barbaric, vein-ripping chemotherapy. Compared to my brother, I had a cake walk.

Today I realized that for the first time, my brother will have been dead longer than he was alive. It's a mindF—k. Rex never had the life experiences we take for granted: his first kiss, driving a car, graduating from high school, being in love, a summer job… never mind the college experience or the joys that come after. My brother Marc shares the same Birthday as Rex, though Marc was born four years younger. May 17 has never been able to recapture the joy it once held. It is strange to think that you could ever be older than your older brother. Marc is now 29.

On one of our last late night talks, Rex and I realized that, because I was his marrow donor, a part of me would literally die with him if he lost his battle with cancer. We laughed but suddenly became very quiet. Then in deep earnest he said "If I die you have to promise me that you will live for the both of us."

People often ask me where I get my zest and passion for life: why I can be in any situation and have the time of my life: why I have all this energy, excitement, spontaneity, acceptance, affection, faith and love. It is because over 17 years ago I made a promise to a dying boy that his young life would not be lost in vain but would be remembered in every moment of mine. That is how I honor and remember my brother: By living this life as magnificently as possible and infecting everyone I come across with the magic, exhilaration and wisdom that Rex taught me.

My dear brother Rex, you remain forever alive in our hearts.

Love,
Christine

P.S. I wrote this several days ago but think it may be appropriate to
share now:

This life will end someday
But the planets will still continue their elliptical paths
And stars will implode and galaxies reborn
The ants will still find their way into honey
As ever, Love will be fought for
And broken hearts will slowly mend
And a stranger will save another man's soul.

This life will end someday
And on that day this soul will look back.
The consequences of its actions
will lift him up
or burden on him heavily.

This life will end someday
But not today.
So strike your path and find your way into honey
The galaxies will spin despite your misery or joy
Eternal life lies within us
Let Love save your soul.

Christine Pechera
July 3, 2007

Fireworks

2007-07-03T16:36:00.000-07:00

Anniversaries and holidays conjure up all sorts of memories and emotions. The last few days have been very introspective and raw.

When thoughts and feelings are twisting inside, a walk is a good way to sort them out. It was on one of these walks last week that I was especially tormented by the memories and tears of last year. My plodding along the sidewalk was suddenly stopped short by a glint of color. Coming into focus, flitting right in front of my eyes, I swear, was a saffronbutterfly. Alright, it was actually pungent-orange in color but that's close enough for me. The tops of its wings appeared to have rhinestones on it. Shiny, glinting spots that caught flashes of the sun. Mesmerized, I slowly raised my hand palm up. On cue, the butterfly gently landed on my fingertips! I swallowed my gasp, for fear of scaring the beautiful creature away. Then I imagined what this scene must have looked like to passers-by. Some urbane Snow White in T-shirt and jeans, gazing at a butterfly on her fingertips. It gently raised and lowered it's shimmering wings. Looking at it, I was hoping for some profound message, some great epiphany, the great existential answer to all the ancient questions about meaning and existence. But it just rested there for a bit before flitting away. I stood and watched it waft towards some blossoming bushes. Perhaps it was just a little wink from the universe.

This weekend I was visiting a friend's place and had the pleasure of picking plums, apricots and apples from the fruit trees. Summer was bursting everywhere. Heaven is the simple joy of precariously cradling an armful of fresh-picked fruit, while reaching up to pluck yet another ripe plum.

Last year, on the eve of the transplant July 4, in the midst of great uncertainty and fear, a glass partition stood between me and my friend M. I lamented that I was in the hospital, on my favorite day of the year. And I cried out against the statistics that said I would never see another summer. From my bed and through the glass pane, M and I promised each other that we would be together "next year" and I would be healthy and cancer-free and we'd watch the Fireworks outside, under the stars, and drink wine and hug and toast to life. Last night, we did just that. Along with a few other friends, we went to the Hollywood Bowl for the Fireworks show. I felt something in me burst as the sky lit up with sparks and fiery whistles. Everything about that moment was what I so earnestly prayed and hoped for, all alone in that dark hospital bed a year ago. Of course the tears would not stop running down my face. It felt like I finally made it home.

- - - - -
An edited version of what I wrote last July 4:

the night before the transplant i am sending love out in all directions from my bed. From my window tonight, I could see the entire horizon ablaze with fireworks. It was the most spectacular July 4th I've ever seen….. Yes, I'm a little scared and a little anxious, but I'm just filling myself with love and gratitude and faith to make it through the next 24 hours. So, sending sparks and fireworks to everyone from my heart to yours. I will be praying all night tonight. Praying that a year from now we will be watching fireworks together. And that 50 years from now we'll still be craning our necks to the sky to shout out "oooh and"aaah".

- - - - -

July 4th is my thanksgiving. It's about uniting with friends and community and taking the time to enjoy life together. I've seen too many who succumbed to cancer this past year. Beautiful husbands, brilliant girls, promising sons. I live my life fully in honor of them. I am so blessed to have reached this point. I have scans and tests at the end of the month to see if the transplant will be a long term success.

This year, I hope the Fireworks remind all of us of all our blessings.

As ever,
Christine

P.S. July 5, the actual transplant day, I made another fun "next year" wish that will come true. That'll be in my next post!

"Save the Date" and SiCKO

2007-06-27T15:37:00.000-07:00

Save the Date! It's official. 80s Prom Night 2007 - Forever Young: Reclaim the Dream, will take place Saturday August 11!

This is it. The big party to celebrate beating the big nasty "C". This will not only be a night of unconditional love wrapped up in a bunch of silly fun, but a night to look back and celebrate all that we accomplished last year, of beating the odds, of rising to the occasion, of taking something so ugly, scary and uncertain and transforming it into something far-reaching and beautiful. Not only do I want to celebrate the miracle that I am still alive, but also the miracle of life that every one of us shares at this VERY moment. Our turn on the ride. For now, the world is ours. Don't miss out on it.

Prom Night is going to rock. Why the 80s? It was the decade of "Choose Life", "Open Arms", and Dancing on the Ceiling". It was a time of optimistic youth, electric keyboards and romantic dreams. We pined to "In Your Eyes", practiced our Billy Idol snarls, bopped in our basements to "Blister in the Sun", squeezed into Jordache jeans, scrunched Dippity-Do into our hair, dabbed on some "Drakkar Noir" or "L'air du Temps" and made out in the back seats of giant Buicks. We embraced life. So dust off those ruffled blue tuxedos and shiny-magenta taffeta dresses. You have six solid weeks to find yourself a babysitter, some blue eye shadow and the most atrocious outfit. Corsages and boutonnières welcomed. And don't worry about going solo; quite a few of you are deciding to go stag. We're gonna let it all go, breath out a huge collective sigh of relief. And dance our little buttooski's off! WE DID IT. The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades. Evite coming soon.

Changing gears: I had the privilege of attending an exclusive preview screening of "SiCKO" earlier this week. After the screening, Michael Moore held an electrifying Q&A with Ron Howard. I say: See this movie. It is revealing, shocking, enlightening, depressing and hopeful all at once. There is a segment that has to do with Bone Marrow Transplantation and all I can say is that the same situation could have happened to me. One sobering fact that Moore shared in the Q&A which was not mentioned in the film: Our generation will be the first generation in the history of America that can expect a SHORTER life span than the previous generation. The WWII generation is healthier, stronger, and will live to an older age than my generation can ever hope for. [[[shudder]]] This movie helps explain why.

I have PET/CAT scans and a Bone Marrow biopsy at the end of July. They represent a sort of Finish Line to this 19-month marathon. I hope to pass with flying colors.

Alive and Kicking,
Christine

pituitary wonder

2007-06-20T23:53:00.000-07:00

I was at City of Hope all day yesterday. And I had doctor appointments all day today. Recuperation really is a full-time job. :)

Another inexplicable-miracle-something has happened in the last week. As you all know, my endocrine system has been messed up, my pituitary gland shut down, sending all bodily systems controlled by hormones into a tizzy and that basically means the WHOLE body. The docs originally said I might have to be on medication for the rest of my life. Well, thanks to prayer and alternative medicine, the results today indicated that my endocrine system is back to NORMAL! My pituitary gland is A-OK! The endocrine doctor was "very pleased" to see that the problem was "resolving on it's own" and my oncologist was simply ecstatic. Next comes estrogen, the PMS hormone. Hopefully that issue will resolve "on it's own" too. This turn of events is simply amazing. Even I'm astounded.

Other good news, my WBC counts are officially in the normal HEALTHY range (not just the "acceptable" range). I can eat salads in restaurants now! I can go to crowded places! (Like rock concerts!) I can swim in the ocean! Also, I'm allowed to FLY on commercial airlines again!!!!! Yaaaay! I have not traveled more than 150 miles outside of LA for over a year… and haven't had a real vacation in over two years. I wish I could get a ticket to everywhere and eat huge salads on all the worlds oceans!

The one-year anniversary of the transplant will be in two weeks. July 5, 2006 was the day my whole body changed and the odds were horribly against us. Remember that wish made that we'd be watching fireworks and "saying Ooh and Aaah a year from now"? Well, I can't wait for July 4th! I'm trying to figure out ways to mark the solemn, yet auspicious day.

Prom Night has been a challenge to plan. Sorry but I spoke too soon about the date. It appears that July 28 won't work for varying reasons, plus it is very likely that a VERY important party/fundraiser will be happening that same night which a lot of us will be attending (Including myself! The Kegger4Kevin). It looks like we are pushing into August now. I'll keep everyone posted.

One request. I visited two dear friends and City of Hope patients today. Joel is a 30-something rabbinical student who is married to a beautiful and strong woman named Heather. They have three young boys together. Robin is also in her early 30s. She is married to a wonderful guy and has a little daughter named Hailey. Joel and Robin are both going through what I went through last year. They just had their transplants last week and are going through a very rough and uncertain time. I just ask everyone to say a little prayer for them. They both have beautiful souls and both have so much yet to give to this world.

The best thing we can do with our lives is to be there for each other.

Much love,
Christine

GVH

2007-06-05T14:59:00.000-07:00

I got not so great news yesterday. The Graft vs. Host has gotten worse and I'm back on anti-rejection medication and now on prednisone, a powerful steroid with infamous side effects. Chronic GVH shows up in a good percentage of post BMT-patients usually around the one-year mark, but only if triggered. If treated well, the condition is merely a temporary unpleasantness. But if not kept in check, can spiral into something far worse.

Tomorrow, June 6, is the fifth anniversary of my initial diagnosis and it makes me somber to think I have been fighting this disease for so long. I remember when I first got diagnosed; I thought "Six months and then I'm out". I could have never imagined I would still be fighting up to now. Then again, the odds said that I shouldn't have made it this far. I feel both joy and sadness.

On a brighter note, this Friday June 8 there is a good chance you might see me on TV again. I was interviewed for the show "Making the Cut" airing at 5pm and 9pm on TLC. I spoke about the loss you feel when all your hair falls out because of chemotherapy. But I also spoke of the hope and joy you feel as it slowly grows back after cancer. Anyway, I thought I'd let y'all know in case you want to check it out. My hair was still uber short so I look very different.

xo,
Christine

National Cancer Survivor's Day

2007-06-03T17:10:00.000-07:00

Today was National Cancer Survivor’s Day. Every year on the first Sunday of June, events take place in communities across the nation to celebrate life after cancer. City of Hope has one of, if not THE biggest event of them all.

The theme this year was “Academy of Hope Awards”, complete with Oscar statues, stretch limos and the illustrious red carpet. I volunteered, dressing up like Kate Winslet from Titanic, an outfit that included a wig of long luscious auburn hair. My friend CN is a Marilyn Monroe impersonator and she fired up the red carpet while I helped welcome and take pictures of the beaming survivors. We wanted them to feel like stars. We even had paparazzi and adoring fans cheering the survivors on as they stepped out from their limos. Just being there was magical and unbelievably rewarding. One sincere smile coming from one sincere soul can restore faith in anything.

While I was there a young woman approached me and said my name in earnestness. How she recognized me in that giant wig I do not know. But she introduced herself and her eyes welled up as she told me the story of her Mother. How a year ago her Mother was told she was dying of cancer and sorry there was nothing the doctors could do for her anymore. They gave her Mother a bottle of morphine and sent her home to die. This young woman said her mother was at first resigned to her fate but then was inspired when she saw our website. Her Mom decided to fight, went to City of Hope and was given a brand new drug that no one has ever heard of. One year later and there was her Mom standing in front of me, healthy and cancer–free. We both burst into tears and hugged each other for what seemed like forever. Her husband glowed. The young woman’s mother kept repeating, “Because of you, I am alive. Because of you.” And I smiled but all I kept thinking was, it wasn’t just me, it was everyone. My friends, my family, and people I haven’t even met who inspired her to not give up and seek the right doctors and treatment for herself. And then I felt so blessed for having such incredible people in my life. Again, what we have accomplished together is simply immeasurable.

Update on health: I go in tomorrow for another full day at City of Hope. Health-wise, there are still some complications going on with my skin, endocrine system and whatnot. But compared to other patients at 11 months post-transplant, I am doing remarkably well.

Since I started getting acupuncture treatments three weeks ago, my energy and stamina have skyrocketed. I fulfilled another wish and returned to my beloved bike path and actually pedaled all the way from Playa Del Rey to Manhattan Beach and back. Granted, I was slow and it took me three times as long to do it but I did it and even I was amazed. There was no way I could have done it 6 weeks ago. Recently I went to a party my friend was DJ’ing and was able to rock out and dance without hurting myself. Again, I was amazed that I could keep up. The best part was when some college-age kids in attendance asked “So when do YOU graduate?” “Very soon.” I thought. “Very soon.”

Much love,
Christine

P.S. The other night I walked along a warm sidewalk chasing the colored sprinkles and vanilla ice cream dripping down from my cone and onto my fingers. My friends and I talked about plans for beach bonfires, the Hollywood Bowl, and camping in the Sierras. Aah, I thought, summer has officially begun. Care to join? :)

It's all worth it

2007-05-25T12:21:00.000-07:00

I received this e-mail message last night.
This is because of the hard work we've done.
This is what makes it all worth it. :)

much love,
christine

"I don't think you know who I am, but I am a friend of Jane's.
Because of your story my sister and I entered the bone marrow
donor program. It was unlikely that we were going to be a match
for you as we are not Filipino. We really thought that we would
never be called, because after all what are the chances of being a
match for someone. We were wrong my sister was called and she
is the match for a woman with leukemia (I think). She is having her
physical this week and if all goes well will be doing the donation
towards the end of June. I thought I would let you know that
because of you someone else has found a match.
Keep up the good work and best wishes to you."

-DrDb

Celebrating Health

2007-05-23T11:34:00.000-07:00

The other day I fulfilled another one of my wishes. As most of you
know, while I was in the hospital, I started a list of wishes and
things I wanted to do after transplant. It gave me something to
look forward to, to aim for and dream about. It also helped me to
believe that I would indeed survive and do all those things one day.
Some wishes were simple, like "Walk along the beach at sunset".
Others were more ambitious, as in "Visit all the major cities in the
world".

This weekend I fulfilled a simple wish. A couple friends and I went
to a festival in the park. An Afro-Cuban band drummed and
trumpeted from the stage. The wish fulfilled: To dance barefoot in
the grass. I felt so free and alive; with the sun piercing through the
tree branches above me and the branches themselves shuddering
to the boom beat of all the drums. I laughed as I let the hipsway
and the swirl overtake me. It felt so good, I actually started to cry.

To be outside in the fresh air dancing under the trees, without
having to worry about blood counts and statistics and scans…
that is freedom.

Save the date: To celebrate the one-year anniversary of the
transplant, my first BMT birthday, as well as my real Birthday
(which I had to postpone), I plan to have a party on a Saturday in
mid to late July. It’s going to be an 80s PROM.

The cheesy theme: “Forever Young: Reclaim the Dream”.

The uglier the prom dress the better. Ruffled shirts and blue
tuxedos strongly encouraged. Taffeta and poof sleeves welcomed.
I’m still trying to find a venue so if anyone has any suggestions
please let me know.

And just to get you guys TOTALLY PSYCHED ...

Dreaming of spiral perms and penny loafers,
Christine

Mother's Day

2007-05-16T01:08:00.000-07:00

I was at City of Hope today. My blood counts are holding but we discovered a new complication. I have practically no hormones in my body, minimal enzymes, probably no endorphin-type guys either. My pituitary gland may be completely shut down and my thyroid might be next. So I'm up for another battery of tests very soon.

This explains the dry skin, the fact that I have no hunger or thirst reflex, why my mood has been lower than usual, why I feel dull and yet over-sensitive, and why Hugh Jackman just doesn't do it for me anymore. No wonder I haven’t been myself lately. Again, things might look okay on the surface, but it will take some time for my whole-self to completely heal. I trust that everything will come back into balance eventually. Our bodies are miraculously self-healing. When you cut yourself, you don’t have to worry and focus and meditate on the cut healing itself. You just KNOW it will, and you go on with your life and *voila* one day you look and the cut is healed. You didn’t see it or make it happen. It just happened. The same principles are at work even with the most traumatic of wounds. Our bodies are infinitely intelligent and incredibly resilient. All we need is time.

I had a very tearful, (in a good way) Mother's Day. With my Mom in New York, we talked on the phone for over an hour. We recounted last year and how we both tried to be strong for each other, as we desperately chased away the fear that this would be our last time together. There was so much love and support coming from everywhere, but it was my Mother who was in the trenches with me, who sacrificed so much just to stand by my side, who drove me insane with her worry but then brought me back to sanity with her faith and inner strength. To think that this was the FOURTH time she had to go through the nightmare of watching a child suffer through cancer; twice with me, once with my brother and again with my sister. And yet she remains as passionate about life, as trusting in God, as light in her heart, as mischievous as a little girl and as beautiful in her soul as on the day she married my father. (They just celebrated their 38th Wedding Anniversary.) She is my inspiration.

Love,
Christine

Life instead of Cancer

2007-05-08T17:50:00.000-07:00

It’s been an emotional week, good and bad: Strange, wonderful, sad, beautiful.

GOOD NEWS – I had follow-up visits with doctors this week. City of Hope said (and I quote verbatim) “Considering what you were up against, you are doing EXTREMELY well”. It’s true. The GVH on my skin is still there but thankfully diminishing. My blood counts are steadily rising and no new complications have come up. My oncologist at the Angeles Clinic said, “Over the next three months, start shedding the ‘cancer patient’ and start preparing for the rest of your life.” Music to my ears. “The rest of your life.” My God, I actually have the rest of my life to live. Okay, there I go tearing up again.

It’s been 10 months since Day 0 of the transplant but I’ve only been out of the hospital for 4 months. Even if I get to have fun every once and awhile, I’m STILL recovering and have to wait for my body to heal and… well… I feel like I’m sitting on the bench, turning to God and pleading “Put me in the game, coach!”

Last weekend I dubbed the “Bone Marrow Extravaganza weekend”. Friday was the BMT reunion at City of Hope. I was singled out and honored among the thousands of patients there and was humbled by the shouts and applause as I stood and waved. Saturday I had the honor of being the guest speaker at Asians for Miracle Matches’ annual luncheon. It felt so good to be able to stand up at the podium one year later and thank the organization, staff and volunteers who made a difference in my life and continue to make a difference in the lives of others. I ended up going off the paper and spoke from my heart. Sunday I attended my first marrow drive since the BMT. My friend Barak funded the entire drive and signed 80 more people onto the registry at the Israeli Independence Day Festival with the help of City of Hope and other volunteers. Being there to answer questions and spread the word as a BMT success story, I felt like I had come full circle. It was an awesome place to be.

Now for the fun stuff. Last week I had a “cameo” in the Gilmore Girls episode “Lorelei Lorelei”. I was visiting the set when I was invited to jump in a scene and *voila* there’s the camera tracking me across the Sookie’s kitchen. I think I had more fun doing it than watching it. Also, May 18 starts a new show on TLC called “Making the Cut”. As some of you know, I was a hair model for Vidal Sassoon until I lost all my hair. I met the show’s director while visiting the salon and before the end of the day, they put me in front of the camera for an interview. My story of hair regained will be used in a segment in one of the episodes. My guess is that I will be in the “Giving Back” episode airing June 8. Finally, I will be fulfilling my fantasy to be a runway model at the Vintage Fashion Expo this weekend at the Santa Monica Civic Auditorium. It’s so cool to think that less than a year later I am literally strutting my stuff.

This is all a wonderful transition and something I have been looking forward to for a long time: To write about life instead of cancer.

Much love,
Christine

Back home from Surgery - need help

2007-04-18T12:42:00.000-07:00

(written under influence of oxycodone)

I finally made it back home! Yesterday was the first time I was outside in four days. Janice was generous with the TLC and probably contributed to a speedier recovery. I'm still walking gingerly and having to take pain pills but I'm ambulatory now (sort of) and able to sit up okay.

What I'm not ready to do is drive long distances. It puts too much strain on the surgery area and leaves me crying out for momma. But I have afternoon appointments tomorrow (Thursday, April 19) at City of Hope and thus, in need a kind soul who can drive and then push me around in a wheelchair. Leave around 1:45pm. Return 5:30-ish.

I was going to drive myself but I'm quickly realizing that that is not a good idea right now.

hugs,
Christine

From JT - Recovering from surgery

2007-04-14T17:52:00.000-07:00

When I talked to Christine today, she was in lots of pain but she still cracked jokes and boy, was she high. As expected, she's in bed most of the day, and only crawls out to "gingerly" move to the sofa. She sends her good thoughts and "hug vibes" to everybody. Last night she had homemade MatzoBall soup and today she felt well enough to eat toast and eggs. I am happy to report she is being well taken care of.

-jt

Surgery this Friday

2007-04-10T09:49:00.000-07:00

Thanks everyone for the offers of help and rides regarding the surgery this Friday. My friend and fellow BMT survivor Janice has invited me into her home to take care of me over the weekend. Janice is one of the most caring and loving Moms I know and her husband is just as nurturing. I'm lucky to be in such good hands. Not sure yet if I'll be able to take visitors but we'll keep everyone posted.

Also, thanks everyone for the concern about me running off to get a tattoo. I assure you that Beth only meant for me to laugh at the mere notion.

hugs,
christine

Nine month transplant anniversary

2007-04-06T01:34:00.000-07:00

Can you believe it has been 9 months since the Bone Marrow Transplant? Happy Anniversary! My, how time flies when you're alive…

Well, my health has slipped back just a wee bit. I overdid it AGAIN, this time by doing absolutely nothing at all… literally relaxing out by the pool at the Beverly-Wilshire. It turns out I'm not supposed to be basking out in the sun and soaking in Jacuzzis just yet. What should have been a rejuvenating spa day triggered Graft vs. Host, so now I'm hit with complications, which at this point aren't life threatening but a sucky reminder that it's going to take some time to fully recover.

One thing I got is something called "peripheral neuropathy". Basically my skin is numb... yes, numb. I can't even feel my clothes. Very freaky. I've actually had moments where I answered the door and panicked and thought," Oh my God, I'm naked!" But looked down to see that I was actually clad in three layers of clothing.

Related to this is a need to nip a problem before it gets any worse. April (Friday the) 13th, I will have surgery to take care of some digestive track issues. Again, not life threatening but the surgeon said I will probably be bedridden for up to a week, hopped up on Quaaludes. Good times. It is outpatient surgery, so I'm seeking help in someone who can drive me to City of Hope at like, 5 in the morning, hang out in Duarte all day and then drive my anesthetized badonkadonk back home in the afternoon.

I guess you can say that my new marrow/stem cells are still in training. If you want to get an actual microscopic view of one my Chinese donor cells inside my body, click HERE.

On a serious note, if I could ask everyone to take just a second right now and send a little prayer up for my friend Robin. She is going through a rough and uncertain time and spent her 30th Birthday in the hospital yesterday. Let's send some good thoughts her way. Robin's Website.

hugs,
Christine

Richard Jeni - Rest in Peace

2007-03-13T01:37:00.000-07:00

If you haven't already heard, Richard Jeni passed away this weekend from an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound. Most of us remember his warm heart and hilarious performance during my ComedyChemo Benefit at the Key Club. I was ten minutes from home and on the phone with Colleen, who was checking news online, when she suddenly told me to pull over. The news tore us both apart. I couldn't stop crying. I kept kicking the steering wheel. WHY?!

Four years, four months and four days before he was pronounced dead, Richard Jeni and I were backstage at the Key Club and shared a conversation about how fragile and fleeting life is. He asked about my prognosis and I revealed how scared I was because I had less than a 50% chance to be alive five years from that very night. He put his arm around me and didn't say a thing. Not one funny thing. It was exactly what I needed. Then I remember hearing the surreal thunder of people chanting my name, wanting me to come out on stage. I want to remember Richard smiling and saying, "Hear that? All those people out there love you and are praying for you." At that moment I just knew that only good could come out of my situation, no matter what the outcome. Ever since that night, I've wanted to send Richard a bouquet of flowers to show how much that moment meant to me. The thank you card I sent just didn't feel like enough. But life happens and you just don't get around to it.

The fact that such an accomplished and sought after comedian would give up an evening of his precious time to help a stranger in need, goes to show you what a wonderful human being Richard Jeni was. His observations on life, love and
relationships were not just funny, they were genuine. At this point, I am still in disbelief that someone so aware of life could take his own.

We are loved more than we know. Sometimes loved more than we can handle. Yet we've all felt that despair. That dark, excruciatingly lonely, insomniacal late-night quagmire when you wish your bed would just swallow you up and be done with it. But as Anne Lamott said "Hope begins in the dark". It's the only place that it can.

We're all just trying to make sense of it all. Trying to find the meaning behind the purpose. The only answer that makes sense to me is found in a fleeting moment. Not in philosophy, fate, science nor religion. Not in words. The answer is fiery and visceral. It is being touched by God.

Evoke
The awe that swells the heart when you cradle a newborn.
The wonder that possesses as you fathom and peer into the Milky Way.
The gasp you utter as a hummingbird peruses your face.
The shout you can't control when a humpback whale leaps for the sky.
The glee of seeing winter's first snow.
That "YES!!" feeling when you hit your mark.
The peace within, watching campfire sparks waft into night
The rush of mad ravenous pulsations when you both finally kiss
The newness inside when someone says, "I love you"

In other words, the answer breathes in you in the moments when you feel most alive.

I'm finally going to send the flowers I've always meant to. You never think that there will ever be a day when it will be too late.

Richard Jeni. You will be missed.

-CP

Stupendous news!

2007-03-02T19:31:00.000-08:00

SO much has happened, I don't know where to start!

At my last doctor appointment we found that my blood counts shot up! My white blood cells DOUBLED and everything else reached new high levels. I'm THIS CLOSE to the normal range (low normal but at least in the right ballpark). My doctor was astonished and ecstatic. All it took was for me to focus on rest, patience and health instead of pining to "get out there" and live too hard too soon. My doctor was so impressed that she lowered my medications, discontinued some pills and said I am allowed to take hot baths, get massages and go to spas again (YES!). Then she said that when I feel strong enough, I am allowed to drive myself (alone!) to City of Hope! She feels I have enough stamina and there is almost no chance that I would be in need of a transfusion or any medication that would prevent me from driving myself home. I am so glad to hear the news, but I may still ask for rides because even if it is nice to be independent, it sucks to go to the hospital alone.

Not only is my marrow 100% donor, but now my blood is also 100% donor. Remember how the results were chimeric just a little while ago? This Sunday is the 8-month anniversary of the transplant and here I am cured with no complications whatsoever and only getting better. Prayers DO work.

I'm now allowed light exercise too, which means I can go back to my Yoga classes! I went for my first class last week and woke up the next day feeling like I got run over by a truck. Ah, baby steps. The owners of Goda Yoga have welcomed me back with open arms, giving me free reign over the studio. It is going to be a tremendous help with my recovery.

SkyBar, Koi, Paradise Cove, La Scala, Magic Castle, Sasabune, Point Dume, the Viceroy, Casa Del Mar, in fast cars and at Mardis Gras. I've partied with Grammy people and had a blast during Oscar weekend. On a recent girl's night out, I wore high-heeled pumps for the first time, stepped out with my new Halle Berry-esque chopped haircut and spent the night shooing away men trying to cram their numbers in my purse. Not bad. Most of my time is spent peacefully recovering but a girl has to get out every once in awhile.

Mike and me in our "Vanity Fair"pose

Life is grand and in the last couple weeks I've found myself at many lovely places including for a girl who was practically terminal a year ago.

This week I had the pleasure of visiting the set of "Gilmore Girls" where I got pulled into the last scene. Watch out for the "Spring Fling" episode where you'll see yours truly running amok in a giant hay-bale maze. Between takes, I was having too much fun doing my impression of Teri Garr in "Young Frankenstein": "Roll! Roll! Roll in zee hay!" Jerome was there too and ran around the maze screaming like Macaulay Culkin ala "Home Alone". Plus, I finally fulfilled my dream of getting on the ER set and pretending to be a doctor.

But the BIG news is that my first book is going to be published!!! Along with other talented cancer survivors, I have the honor of being a contributing writer in "Writing for Wellness". It is slated to come out this summer. My story will also be featured in another upcoming book, which I can't talk about until a later date. Pop that champagne! :)

On a serious note, I'm still supporting and helping other friends and cancer patients. Life swings between the extremes of joy and sorrow these days. In the morning I may be laughing so hard, my stomach hurts. Then at night, I may get bad news and be crying so hard, my head hurts. Please pray for my friends, especially for Joel, Robin, Margie, Jerome and Elizabeth.
Remember how blessed we are and use that gratitude to help others.

xo,
Christine Pechera

p.s. Happy Purim!

"Beauty remains: the pain passes." -Renoir

Overdid it again

2007-02-06T23:38:00.000-08:00

When my doctor turned to me with her hands on her hips, I knew I was in trouble.

"Are you already back to work?!" her voice shredded the air with exasperation.
"No." I mumbled, moping like a 13-year old. I knew what was coming next.
"You are overdoing it again. You have to stop."
Notice she did not say "slow down".

The doctor pushed a paper in my face showing that all my blood levels plummeted 25% since my birthday.
"Now your body have to work hard all over again."

OK. I admit I pushed it just a little celebrating the Birthday that almost wasn't. But what's an elated girl to do? Sit in a room and blow out candles all by herself?
"You rest more. Stop doing so much. You want to get better, right?"
I pouted. "Ohh...kay..."

I'm just so happy to be alive and feeling so fortunate for the miraculous outcome of an uncertain year. I had the honor of speaking at another City of Hope event this weekend. As usual, it was a very emotional speech. My heart broke as a couple stories were shared of patients who were less fortunate or who were having great difficulties with post-transplant complications. I was the lucky one to be the poster-child survivor who could speak on behalf of all the cancer patients. Thus, my thirst to live... NOW.

Well, lesson learned is that patience is a virtue that I'm still working on. Also, a note that I WILL be taking it easier and slower, kinder and gentler. The marrow needs all the help it can get.

We all should be taking better care of ourselves.

xo,
Christine

From Barak - Perfect take-off

2007-02-01T22:59:00.000-08:00

For those of you who know Christine, you know how modest she can be. So I’ll tell you something she left out of her flying story:

When we went flying, Christine did a complete takeoff! All by herself! And there’s the video to prove it!!!

In December, Christine spent two weeks in the hospital, including Christmas and New Year’s. When I was there, we’d play games, surf YouTube, listen to iTunes, and pig out on hospital food. So I told her that when she got out of the hospital, we’d go flying. I started teaching her how to fly, how the plane works, and how to take off. We’d sit side by side on the bed and simulate takeoffs. We did that so many times that I think she got really tired of it. But she got really good at it, too. So much so that when we were finally rolling down the runway, I handed her the controls and took her video camera. We hit takeoff speed, and like a pro, Christine pulled back the control wheel and became an instant aviator. It was a surreal experience that I wish you could all witness: Christine the Flyer, Miss Pilot herself! It was a perfect take-off.

Barak

Birthdays are blessings

2007-01-30T23:34:00.000-08:00

Last week began the celebration of my 35th year. The year that doctors said I probably would never see. It began with a take-off… literally.

Barak took me up in his plane and handed over the controls as we sped down the runway and took off into the sky. We soared above Los Angeles, flying over the Getty Center, past the Hollywood sign, zipping past clouds, sailing beyond the Griffith Observatory, around the downtown skyline, over freeway traffic, along the shoreline, past the Santa Monica Pier and over Mulholland. The big blue sky was all ours. It was the first time I forgot. Forgot about what the doctors' said. Forgot about my limitations. Forgot about the difficulties of the past year. Forgot about hospitals and needles, marrow and mortality.

Completely forgot that I was ever sick.

For the first time in over a year, slicing through sunrays and rushing air, I felt invincible and.... free.

The week followed with a number of tête-à-têtes, tearful hugs and toasts to life. Mark took me to my first Sushi meal in almost a year and I nearly fainted when the sashimi melted in my mouth.

A miracle wish came true on my Birthday weekend. Not many people know this but with Poper's urging, I'm going to share this little intimate story.

My last wish before the transplant was to be in nature. A few girlfriends and I went up to a cabin in the woods. While we were there, we had a picnic along a mountain stream. I sat on a large river stone while we all cried and prayed together. I didn't want to leave. I was afraid to leave. I was afraid of everything that was waiting for me at the bottom of the mountain. I was
afraid of dying. Then suddenly I thought, "Screw this!" and I prayed and made a wish.

I said out loud that I would return someday to the very same spot and put my hand back in the same stream, in good health, with no complications from the transplant, and completely cured of cancer.

This past Sunday, seven months and seven days later, that very wish came true.

I also returned to a giant boulder where 10 months before I had shouted at the top of my lungs. With Barak, we both spread our arms out to the sky and inspired by Whitman, sounded our barbaric yawps over the rooftops.

I am probably one of the only women in the world who is ECSTATIC to turn 35. I say it with a huge smile on my face. And I look forward to celebrating 45, 55, 65, 75… 105.

Birthdays are blessings.

Much Love,
Christine Pechera

P.S. More good news: Marrow is good. Body is getting stronger. Blood counts are steadily moving up.

"May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy." -unknown

Good news - So long Hickman!

2007-01-16T19:03:00.000-08:00

Well, it's official. I got shingles. We caught it early though, so hopefully this pain thing won't last very long. I only have a dozen percosets left anyway. I am not contagious, unless you've never had chicken pox before. All my counts have dropped because of the re-activated virus.

But I do have good news: I've had a hickman catheter in my chest for over six months now. These are the tubes that lead straight into my heart, which the doctors use to administer medicine, transfusions and to draw blood. When you reach a certain level of recovery, it is safe to take the hickman out because it is less likely that you will be needing medicine and
transfusions. A good sign. Plus, I'll be allowed to take hot baths and deep massages again. Yay.

My follow-up appointments for the 22nd have been rescheduled for Wednesday the 24th, the same day as the outpatient surgery to remove the Hickman. I need a ride to City of Hope and back. I will be sedated for the surgery. Pick up is at 8am and estimated return is no later than 2pm. A good time to catch up on calls or a good book. Any takers?

BTW - I've spoken to some of you about planning a big blow-out party on Feb. 3 to celebrate my Birthday (Jan 26) as well as a celebration of life. With this recent bout, however, I'm afraid we will have to postpone until I get my dancing feet back.

much love,
Christine

One life at a time

2007-01-15T00:48:00.000-08:00

This group and everyone's efforts in the group have inspired so many others. Today I was inspired and reminded of how one person can change the course of the world.

Life is precious. I'm sure everyone in this group is aware of that. But another thing to remember (fudging Marianne Williamson's words) is that we are powerful beyond measure.

Too many of us watch the news and feel helpless about what is going on in the world. My friend, Barak Raviv, felt that way too… at first. But recently after watching more footage of bombings in Israel, he picked up the phone. After donating a substantial sum of his own money, he raised $100,000 to build and stock a brand new intensive-care ambulance for "Magen David Adom" (the Red Cross of Israel). Today was the dedication ceremony. His hope was that by seeing the ambulance, manifested by "a little chutzpah and a lot of initiative" (Barak's words), others may be inspired to make a difference and
do good.

There is an old Jewish saying: If you save one life, you have saved the world.

If that is true then this ambulance will be saving the world, one life at a time.

A reminder that we are not helpless and that life is whatever you choose to manifest.

Much love,
Christine

P.S. I return to City of Hope tomorrow for a follow-up visit. And we're going to get to the bottom of this icky pain thing. I PROBABLY have the infamous shingles but we'll find out for sure tomorrow. Percoset is my new favorite drug.

From JT - Christine suffering from shingles

2007-01-13T15:43:00.000-08:00

Just spoke to Christine's Mom and appears C may have the Shingles. It's a very painful adult version of Chicken Pox that attacks the nerves. She has flu-like symptoms without fever. She's only contagious to anyones whose never had chicken pox. If you had chicken pox as a kid and your immune system is good, there's no worrisome for you. Christine's taking big painkiller pills. This bad condition may last several weeks.

-jt

From Stephanie I - To Bonnie re: donor drive

2007-01-13T15:42:00.000-08:00

Bonnie,

Don't be disappointed-35 is a very respectable turn-out. We've been doing many drives all across the country and some have been huge while others have been only 25 or so folks. Just know it's the quality (folks with kind hearts and the courage to actually donate) than quantity.

My son is half filipino/half caucasian and needs a transplant now-thank you so much for anything you can do to get people registered in your area. I joined this group because before I learned of Christine's search, I was sitting next to my son's
hospital bed crying and feeling helpless. That was Thanksgiving week. Since being inspired by Christine, we've signed up over 1000 people.

www.helpharrison.com. Please don't give up the fight. Christine and others like her deserve the fighting chance at life that a well-matched transplant can give.

All the best,
Stephanie

From Bonnie - Dan's Marrow Drive

2007-01-13T07:57:00.000-08:00

I am new even though I have been checking posts for a while Bet you wonder who I am? I heard about Christine from my friend Diane G in Atlanta who is a friend of a friend of Christine's sister Jocelyn. Diane asked me if we could have a drive here in Illinois because of our large Filipino community. I was preparing for a trip to Pascagoula Mississippi with a teen mission group,. so couln't put a lot of time into it. I turned it over to my friend Dan and his family who are Filipino, since I am not.

Dan did a wonderful job but on the day of the drive our pastor let us down with follow up announcements after the masses and I was in tears. We got a small turn out but we did get some! After Dan's hard work it was a dissapointment not to have gotten more. But we were reassured some were better than none and we had tried. I belive we ended up with 35 donors.

But since then I have followed Christine's progress. I feel I know you all and definately love you all. What a loving comunity of
friends Christine has.

I am Bonnnie I am 63 years old so was not able to donate myself I live in Bloomingdale Illinois a suburb of Chicago. I am please to know you all via internet

Prayers always for Christine!!

Love and Hugs
Bonnie

From Tony C - Prayers needed - Christine back in ER!

2007-01-11T21:37:00.000-08:00

Dear Friend's of Christine,

Earlier this afternoon, she had felt some pains in her chest area and began vomiting. The paramedics whisked her away to the emergency room at St. John's Hospital in Santa Monica. They gave her some painkillers and took some x-rays to determine whether her condition was any of the following: cardiac, abdominal, or esophageal.

So far nothing yet. I just visited Christine this evening and she was very calm and rested. She wanted me to update you all with this bit of news and asks for your prayers again. She'll be under observation by the hospital while they try to determine the cause of her pain. More updates when I find out more.

Best wishes to you all,

Tony C.

Happy New Year - "True Story" poem

2007-01-03T00:58:00.000-08:00

It's late Tuesday night, January 2, 2007.

!!! *2007* !!!

Another milestone hit. 180 days post-transplant. This was the calendar point which marked the "less than 50% chance" of seeing this day.

After 15 days in room 5105 at City of Hope, I will walk out on my own two feet tomorrow to return home once again. I guess I've been in denial of my own condition and this last episode has taught me that I have no choice but to take it easy and not thrust myself back into the big world too soon. Mantra for the next few months: Time, patience, care and gratitude.

Christmas and New Year's in the hospital isn't so bad when you can still feel the love around you. Being in the hospital magnifies the meaning of the Eve. What normally is a warm fuzzy feeling inside, crucibles into a white-hot bonfire and you grasp your heart for fear that it will burst pyroclastic in every direction, including inward; an implosion of passion and grace in dreams of Holiday glitter.

Being in the hospital this time, I've learned in a somber way how fortunate I am to be alive. Since being here I've discovered more patients I befriended in the Fall never got the chance to fight because they never found a donor. And next door to my room, I am trying to help a young woman who is in the same exact position I was one year ago. No donor. No hope. Under heavy chemo and given only months to live. Her husband is praying that she will see next New Year's Day.

On the wise suggestion of a dear friend, instead of New Year's Resolutions, I am writing ALL that I am thankful for this past year and the list is still growing. And through the excitement of a few loving souls, I am writing all that I plan to do with this 2nd 2nd chance at life. I think it's a cool exercise for anyone to try.

I hope everyone's holidays brought joy and peace. And the chance to love another, and to be with those who mean the world to you.

**********

True Story

On the first day of the year I learned how to fly.
And I learned how to play again.
On the first day of the year I held hands with a friend in need
And then ate ice cream by the bucketful.
On the first day of the year I held another soul close to mine
And dreamt of far away towns and unseen backyard gardens
And then laughed until I snorted.

On the first day of the year I woke up with tears cooling the corners of my eyes
Remembering. Letting Go. And glistening for the future.

On the first day of the year I reflected
on a most terrible and most miraculous time
And I saw all the ones I loved shining in the big luscious sky
Sighing, kicking, bursting, soaring, and singing
Yodel-lay-hee-hoo

This year
Her arms are wide open
Her breaths are deep
And the miracles are just beginning

Much love,
Christine

**********

"The greatest use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it."
-William James (1842-1910)

From Carlos - Christine in Hospital for New Year's Eve

2006-12-29T10:02:00.000-08:00

Hi, everyone.

I spoke to Christine this morning, Friday 12/29. She sounded not happy about still being in the hospital for obvious reasons. Overall she was positive though, said she was happy, pointing out that she reached the anniversaary of when the doctors told her she had less than a year to live. It's been a year, she is still here -- enough said, as she put it.

She's been in the hospital for 10 days now. She has "complications" but so far the docs have not been able to figure out specifically what they are. It's not a virus, it's not a bacteria, it's not GVH (thank God, she said). They have been giving her vitamins and minerals as they continue trying to figure out what's going on.

Most likely, she will still be in the hospital on New Year's Eve, as she was on Christmas. If anyone wants to put on a hospital mask and hang out with her, they are welcome to. She's thinking about escaping her room and partying on the roof. Or maybe holding wheelchair races in the hallway (winner gets hospital ice cream). She also pointed out that she can score pretty much anything from the pharmacy -- morphine, vicodin, or my personal favorite, codeine. If anyone has other ideas as to how she can ring in '07, she is open to suggestions.

She's also open to suggestions regarding a nickname that would reflect her recent weight changes. Before going back to the hospital she had lost 27 pounds, and since being in the hospital she's gained 13. She thinks she should have a nickname. She doesn't want to be called Yo-Yo Pechara because that's "too easy." She's thinking maybe Spongebob Pechera or Shrinky Dink Pechera.

In closing, she asked that I say to everyone on her behalf the timeless words of Tiny Tim, "God bless us, everyone." Then she laughed, which was a relief because for a second I thought she was turning cornball.

Christine's friend, and possibly yours,

Carlos

From JT - Christine still in hospital for holidays

2006-12-26T12:11:00.000-08:00

I'm writing this for Christine because she's not feeling well enough. She remains in the hospital and probably be staying for longer. She's okay but still struggling with stomach and other complications. Her LA friends got her a big Christmas Tree and even stayed overnight to make sure she didn't spend the holiday weekend alone. She is in room #5105. Please keep her in your prayers.

-jt

From Barak - Sitting on Santa's lap

2006-12-21T23:25:00.000-08:00

This is Barak writing from CP's hospital room.

OK, so sitting on Santa's lap did not really happen. That would be inappropriate and would scare the little children. But tonight was about as close as you can get to that from here.

There was a Christmas party for grown-ups at the City of Hope. Santa came from the North Pole, bringing gifts and granting wishes. (Actually, Christine and I arrived after Santa had left, but someone paged his little helpers and Santa made a special second visit.)

All the patients got raffle tickets, and Christine won! I guess it's her special luck. Her prize was a gift card that she hopes to use after she leaves the hospital. The entertainment consisted of a guitarist, a Harpist and a banjo player, the perfect combination for Christmas carolls.

Then beauty queens from Miss Asia USA walked around handing out scarves and posing for photos. At one point, Christine had everyone pose with their arms outstretched like Broadway stars. The funniest thing was seeing Santa leaning over to Christine, clearly nervous about spoiling her imprompu Christmas photo shoot, and asking her for stage directions. (In the end, they all followed her lead.) We took a few photos and shot some video, sang some carolls and told a few jokes.

I think Christine forgot that she was still tied to an IV pole, because in the end she insisted on taking group photos with the carollers and playing the harp from her wheelchair. We got some candy canes from Santa, and in typical Christine fashion we were literally the last people to leave the party.

It looks like Christine will be here for a few more days, just healing and getting better. She's a little uncomfortable with cramps, but in very good hands and on very good medication. Christmas may be a little lonely this year, buy it'll be one heck of a good day to be alive.

Barak

From Jerome - Christine on 24-hour cocktail

2006-12-21T16:18:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone, I'm in the room with Christine (wink wink)and she wants everyone to know that she's sorry for not being able to send Christmas gifts and cards. She's hoping to have a belated Christmas as soon as she gets better.

She's not doing so well. She's in alot of discomfort

She's on a 24 hour cocktail of morphine and ativan.

Christine's thinking about you and she misses you. But she still has a fight ahead of her, so please keep her in your prayers!

Jerome

p.s. An elderly woman stopped by with a beautiful blue afghan that she hand knitted for Christine. They were strangers to each other but the outpouring of love was immeasurable. I was honored to be a part of that.

on da DRUGGGGS

2006-12-21T14:42:00.000-08:00

been on on morphine/ativan cocktail all day & heaading into motphine lala land onight..
hey, i see double. Quick! There goes the whitte rabbit,
TERRIBLE news. I will Most likely be in hospital from now throughon Chritmas. (Wwhhhhaaahh!) EMOTIONS RUNN HIGHER

MyHOLIDAY cards and giftsi are just collectuing dust home.sorr;y;;; I' so ou t of it. did i kiss someome last nght?

does anyone vwant t rent cozy cute a cabin idyllild got this weeken. strwberry crek, Arr: Sat23 Dep25

Me cant go no more :(

lucYeindasky-aiwitDiamonds

-cp

From Barak - From Christine's hospital bed

2006-12-20T22:22:00.000-08:00

This is Christine's friend Barak writing from the hospital room. Christine is currently recovering from today's General Anesthesia, as well as Ambien and Ativan. The doctors have been supplying her with saline and electrolytes to rehydrate her body and replenish her with nutrients.

Her IV tree has several bags to supply her with everything that's been depleted. She's feeling like a jellyfish on ecstasy, filled up with fluids and rolling on cloud nine. In short, they are taking very good care of her at City of Hope. The biggest discomfort is a nauseating tummy ache.

Tomorrow, Thursday, we expect to get the results from today's tests and procedures, and I'm hoping that she gets to go home real soon. Christine hopes she can still go to Idyllwild this weekend, where she was planning to spend a relaxing and quiet Christmas making s'mores and throwing snowballs.

Your prayers and support are very important to Christine, and she holds you all close in her heart. She feels blessed to be able to share her updates with you, and wishes everyone a safe and joyful holiday season.

- Barak

Set Back - Back in the hospital

2006-12-19T18:42:00.000-08:00

Hey guys, sorry to keep this short but here is what's happening. I was admitted to City of Hope today for dehydration and severe weight loss and other related complications. (Lost over 20 lbs in one month... not good for the kidneys.)

Gonna have a bunch of tests & procedures tomorrow, which includes an endoscopy... which means I'm going to be put under (woo-hoo! I LOVE general anesthesia). The results of tomorrow's tests will tell us what to do next.

Graft-vs-Host is the suspect in this latest bout.

It's no fun to be tethered to an I.V. again, but thankfully they are just pumping me full of saline tonight.

much love,
christine

From Den - Emergency! Pray for Christine!

2006-12-19T13:08:00.000-08:00

Just got a text message from Christine, who was apologizing for having to postpone our planned Thursday dinner because she's just been admitted to the hospital for dehydration and severe weight loss. She asked me to update everyone.

She says: "Not exactly sure what is going on, just know that I'm in a dangerous situation. Heading to the emergency room right now."

Super-strong thoughts and prayers time, kids.

Den

165 Post Transplant - Happy Hanukah!

2006-12-17T20:44:00.000-08:00

Happy Hanukah! (And only 7 days until Christmas!)

JC brought a very cool silver-blue Christmas Tree to my apartment this week. Not having any ornaments on hand, we put butterflies on the branches. Looks tres chic. My brother in NYC has a: ChristmasKwanzaaHanukahPanchaGanapatiSolsticeIdal-AdhaSoyalOmisokaYule Tree. That's his way of not keeping any of his friends out of the celebration.

We are 165 days post-transplant and counting down the 15 days to Day 180. Less than 50% of patients who make it through the type of procedure I went through actually survive past 180 days. "Fortunate" doesn't even begin to describe how I feel. By sheer coincidence, Day 180 will be NEW YEAR'S DAY. Pretty awesome serendipity, if you ask me.

Actually, yesterday was the anniversary of the biopsy that started this whole rollercoaster ride. It's amazing even to me, that I'm above ground. I had a quiet celebration and then snuggled in bed for the rest of the night.

I hope everyone's holidays have been effervescent, magical and candy-cane blessed so far. And if it doesn't seem that way yet, just open your eyes a little wider. The world can only be as beautiful as you allow it to be.

xo,
Christine

Losing too much weight

2006-12-12T21:58:00.000-08:00

I've been reading the concerned e-mails of the last few days and I am truly humbled by the responses for help. Today, blood levels nudged up just a wee bit, which brought me breathe a sigh of relief and made my doctor very happy.

I am "active" for 3-4 hours a day. The rest of the time I am conked out. The fatigue is not just "feeling tired": it's complete and total physical, emotional, mental drainage of chi and stamina. (Though I am in total denial of it sometimes.)

I may have lost a considerable amount of weight in only three weeks, but I like to think of it as my old "cancer weight" shedding away. The weight is actually back to where it was BEFORE diagnosis. My "Beyonce butt" has sadly melted away and now baby ain't got back, but a pair of old tight jeans that I haven't been able to fit into for years, hung loosely on me the other day. (I can see it now… the new Hollywood diet craze: lose weight fast by having a marrow transplant.) Seriously though, if I lose more weight, my doctor is going to force feed me enough steroids to make me eat like a horse and will start infusing me with lipid (i.e. FAT) bags. When they infuse you with one of those babies, you gain poundage in only a few hours.

But I am confident that this weird transition of sluggishness and rabid anorexia is only temporary. Each day there is a little bit of progress. Each day there is another joy. Despite the limitations of post-transplant-ism, I've been able to sneak out of the house to see the Philharmonic, have three TV interviews, enjoy some lovely dinners, and attend the Video Game Awards
(which had me practically bedridden for 3 days after). On Sunday, BR came over with a shopping bag full of ice cream, chocolate bundt cakes and whipped cream in an attempt to fatten me up. On Monday, RB grilled shish-kebabs to help with the blood cell count. Baby steps, ya know.

Much love this holiday season,
Christine P

From Jennifer F - It takes time

2006-12-07T00:29:00.000-08:00

hello,
i had a bone marrow transplant in april and it is really important that people around the area help christine out. i actually had my mother live with me for the first 100 days and i have my girlfriend who lives with me. things are very tiring and trying.

i don't know how her platelets are doing-but if she is getting transfusions and also if her platelets are not above 50,000, she should not be driving.

i cant believe people cannot drive her back and forth to her hospital appointments that is very serious to have someone there.

i live in new jersey. if i lived closer, i would try to help her out. i always make someone go with me because it is hard to go do that alone also

even now my counts went down yesterday and in two weeks when i go back, i have to do all these tests..

when i watched her on the news. i thought it was great they were following up, but i also thought the clip was deceiving. this is not over-and for at least a year to two, things can be hard. they might get a little easier, but things spring up.

thank you
jennifer

www.jfmedicalfund.org

From Colleen B - The best way to help

2006-12-05T11:19:00.000-08:00

This holiday season we joyfully celebrate Christine’s release from the City of Hope. As everyone reading the posts knows, she went through the fires of hell and came out the other side.

Unfortunately, many seem to misunderstand her current status. Yes, Christine is out of the hospital, but she is not out of the woods. A cold or the flu, even exhaustion, could send her right back into hospital lock-up.

Christine is now in a new and in some ways equally difficult space. She is responsible for cooking, cleaning and managing her life. And she needs to do all of this with very little stamina. Tasks that would take a healthy person ten minutes take her an hour, because she needs to stop and rest so often. The process she is in now is critical. If you see her and she looks grand, know that before she saw you and after you run off to your next activity she will be in bed resting for several hours.

Those of you who know her, know Christine does not like to complain or whine. But her hold on life is still very fragile. Her job right now is to heal and rebuild her immune system. There can be no dancing, no books written, nor movies produced, until this major job is complete.

She absolutely needs all of us to continue to help in any and all ways we can. Our dear saffron butterfly still needs a lot of time in her healing cocoon before she can fly freely and do the thousands of things her soul is crying to do.

It may seem like the crisis is over, but it is not. Christine must stay well, rebuild her immune system and bring her body back to health. The goal was not just to survive the transplant; it is to get back to a healthy life.

Christine thanks God every morning for the gift of a new day. Going out on a simple errand she is thankful to be healthy enough to wait in line and be out in public. The tiny joys most of us overlook are huge to Christine. These outings also deplete the energy reserves she needs in order to heal.

Please keep Christine in your daily prayers and offer her help this holiday season (and beyond). She is alone and still in a serious phase of recovery.

Another way we can all help Christine is with gift cards. She is on her own without an income. Some ideas are gift cards for Trader Joes, Whole Foods, CVS (a local drugstore), maid service, gas, clothing stores (the poor woman has a cancer patient wardrobe, everything she owns holds memories of what medical appointment she wore them to). Or donate time to help
her clean, cook, do laundry, run errands or offer rides. During this season of joy and giving, please check her on-line calendar for ways to help. Offer whatever you can.

Our outpouring of love and support helped Christine get to this place in her recovery. Now let’s help her in this next stretch.

Blessings for a happy holiday season,
Colleen Bollen

Happy Holidays

2006-12-04T10:20:00.000-08:00

I went to my first blow out holiday party this weekend at TC's and felt so blessed to see friends I haven't seen since the transplant!

I couldn't believe my own words as I stood with sparkling cider in one hand and bundt cake in the other: "I just got out of the
hospital three weeks ago." My acupuntcure doctor was there and serenaded me. Later I was in a fourway karaoke duet with EK, JW and SG to "Tubthumper". And I got behind the wheel of a Fire Truck, got to turn on the lights and got hugs from strapping firemen.

"I get knocked down
But I get up again
You're never gonna keep me down..."

We all toasted to life numerous times between hugs and welcomed disbelief that I was standing there to raise my glass along with everyone else. Hope everyone is enjoying the holiday season so far!

Hugs,
Christine

Recovery Time

2006-11-29T22:30:00.000-08:00

It's hard to believe that less than 11 months ago I was told that I had less than a year to live. Now it's countdown to 2007.

At City of Hope yesterday, the latest results showed blood counts have stayed the same. A bit of calculating found that levels are:

White blood cells = 30% of a normal healthy person
Red blood cells = 60% of a normal healthy person
Hemoglobin = less than 60% of a normal healthy person
Platelets = less than 20% of a normal healthy person

No wonder I've been feeling so tired and out of it! Expressing impatience for my counts to go up, my oncologist DID point out that I was very lucky to be alive, in full-remission, without any major complications. Full-recovery is just going to take "some time".

Time.

I want so badly to live and get out there and fly, dance, climb, love, explore and BE. It's torturous, actually. But the risks are too great, so I have to sit, wait, hope, watch, rest and pray for my immune system to kick in and for cells to flourish. Time is precious, even when it means sacrificing some so that you can hopefully have more.

My doctor did say that one way to help blood counts & health (for anyone!) is to reduce the amount of stress in life. Most post-BMT survivors return to a home filled with loved ones to take care of the everyday. I have the challenge of living on my own. Over the last couple weeks, I experimented with the possibility of being as independent as possible and have learned
that, at this point, it is doing more harm than good. Simply doing the mundane such as dishes or laundry is a slow and deliberate process that leaves me worn out and on the couch for multiple catnaps a day. I hate to admit that I end up spending a lot of the day in bed.

So I humbly write this e-mail, of necessities and requests for help. And a solution to reduce the number of e-mails/calls for everyone.

Less stress… I hope.

Every Tuesday I need a ride to City of Hope. It's tricky to say how long the day will be. On a good day, the appointments will last 2-3 hours. On a bad day, 6-8 hours, though those days are very rare. Every once in awhile, I may need a lift to other appointments. Occasionally I may just drive myself if it's a quick trip and I'm feeling feisty and ambitious, but the less driving I do, the better.

Since I am my own caretaker and advocate, the YAHOO group Calendar will be used as a passive way to ask for help. Save the link below for easy access to the Calendar. If you feel like helping, want to visit or need a great excuse to drop by, check the calendar. Unless it is urgent or unusual, scheduled requests for help will not be sent out by e-mail.

I also need help with errands. I`m not exactly sure how to work that out. I guess if you happen to be in my neck of the woods, give me a call and maybe serendipity will step in. Or if you know that you will be going to Trader Joe's, Whole Foods, The Co-op, Cost-co, or any errand-type place (i.e. post-office, pharmacy, hardware store) and you'd like some company
or have time to pick something up, call or e-mail to let me know. I will probably need something too.

I know the holidays are here and everyone is crazy busy and I don't wish to inconvenience anyone. But if you feel like taking a break from the crowded rush & bustle and want to walk at the pace of healing, recovery and self-discovery, I got a nice hot cup of tea waiting.

One last request: Flu season is upon us so please, if you have the sniffles or any ills, it would be best to send Season's Greetings through non-physical contact avenues of love. Happy Holidays. Let's celebrate this Season of Love. And Blessings always. Looking forward to a bright New Year.

Much love,
Christine

P.S. Looks like I will be on TV again. I have a shoot with TLC tomorrow. Not exactly sure what it's all about, but we'll see...

"Measure your Life in Love"
A.Pascual

From Rob B - Happy Turkey Day from C

2006-11-22T11:12:00.000-08:00

Happy Turkey Day all,

I spoke with Christine last night for about an hour and she asked me to give everyone an update on how she is doing. First of all, she sounds amazing and is in good spirits. She loves being home but is still adjusting to her new old life. All of the wonderful phone calls and e-mail's are still reaching her and she is grateful for every one of them. But part of her recovery process is to take things easy and not over tax herself. Just going to the market to pick up an item requires an hour and a half nap afterwards. This is mainly due to the fact her red blood cell count is still very low and I am sure that those of you who have donated blood in the past know how tired you get afterwards. So she is currently trying to build her count back up and until she does, even the smallest chore exhausts her.

All of the messages that she is receiving are being read, but she doesn't quite have the energy to respond to all of them. I had a friend who had to rebuild their blood in much the same way Christine does and he told me that it does take some time and quite a bit of eating to accomplish. But keep those well wishes coming for they are much appreciated and eventually we shall hear from our special friend.

Again, she is doing well, her spirit is positive as always, and her commitment is strong. If anyone has any specific questions, please feel free to write back. Until then a very tired Christine and I wish everyone a very Happy and well fed Thanksgiving.

Rob

From Barak - Video Links to CBS TV News stories

2006-11-20T08:54:00.000-08:00

Did you miss Christine on CBS?

The story was called "Culver City Woman Gets Marrow Transplant."

CBS 2 and KCAL 9 are sister-stations so it ran on both channels Sunday night. Click HERE to watch the video.

http://www.cbs2.com/video/?id=28919@kcbs.dayport.com

Also attached is the previous story link for "Culver City Woman Needs
Bone Marrow To Live." Click HERE to watch.

Barak R

On TV tonight!

2006-11-19T18:13:00.000-08:00

Hey all,

It's 6:00pm Sunday night and I just got off the phone with CBS and they are coming RIGHT NOW with a camera crew to interview me. The segment airs TONIGHT!

Also, I will be interviewed tomorrow at the KSCI studios for their Thanksgiving special. The taping is tomorrow but I'm not sure exactly when the show will air.

xo,
Christine

Donor letter has to be anonymous

2006-11-09T20:23:00.000-08:00

Stop the Presses!!! BM, a very aware friend and City of Hope post-transplant survivor cautioned about some of the limitations of writing a thank you letter to the donor:

"My donor didn't get a hat that I included because it had an American flag on it. I wasn't allowed to include anything that hinted at who I was or where I was from..... The receiving hospital will probably screen everything..... and eliminate anything that is 'locational'."

Because BOTH identities of the donor and patient must remain anonymous for at least one year, we have to be careful not to leave any clues that may reveal who I am or where I live. WE aren't even supposed to know that my donor is from China. Someone goofed and the privileged information accidentally slipped out of his/her mouth. Oops!

Soooo... obviously NO names, NO locations... even country should not be mentioned in the letter. No mention of any aspect of my story or the fact that I was on TV or written about in newspapers and magazines. NO clues whatsoever that could indicate anything more than my age and that I am female. Sections of your letter may be blocked out or your entire letter
may be rejected if there is revealing information.

I hope this hasn't hindered anyone's desire to write. My adivce is to just write from the heart. Love. All you need is love. :)

-Christine